Remember when I said we were doing ok with the ChiSox? Ok, well, we got a good old Pirate-eque ass-smack tonight, 6-1. We pitched this guy by the name of John Van Benschoten, who did ok, before the bullpen opened up the flood gates. Now, if you never heard of Van Benschoten before, allow me to introduce him. He's another one of these high first round draft picks that's probably better suited to be working at Home Depot rather than pitching in the Bigs. For the record, we have like 5 of these guys down on the farm. We could actually staff the entire lumber section at the Monroeville Home Depot with these guys.
Of course, the Bucco Top Brass would rather keep these guys at Indianapolis, living and working in happy bliss like Oompa Loompas in Wonka Land. Bottom line, when you only got a handful of fans, you can't piss them off by telling them that all the top recruits should be selling drywall, and wearing a lower back support. So we keep these guys, and hopefully expect them to blossom into aces, after they fully recover from the assortment of major arm surgeries that they have all had. Honestly, these guys have more collective ailments than a full season of House.
Then, when they are like 27, and have spent several years in Wonka Land, the Brass runs an IO campaign (military lingo for information operations) on one of these stiffs, convincing Pirateland that he's a hot prospect. (NOTE: hot prospects are not in their late 20's with minor league era's in the mid to high 4's. Baseball has more fitting titles for those guys: middle reliever, number 5 starter, or "bum".)
Then they call him up, and he usually gets hammered pretty damn good. Generally, these guys will have a 6+ era and a one way bus ticket back to Indianapolis within a month. Let's wait and see on Van Ben. Maybe I'll be wrong.
Well, I think it's time to start opening beer cans. Until we stink again...
Of course, the Bucco Top Brass would rather keep these guys at Indianapolis, living and working in happy bliss like Oompa Loompas in Wonka Land. Bottom line, when you only got a handful of fans, you can't piss them off by telling them that all the top recruits should be selling drywall, and wearing a lower back support. So we keep these guys, and hopefully expect them to blossom into aces, after they fully recover from the assortment of major arm surgeries that they have all had. Honestly, these guys have more collective ailments than a full season of House.
Then, when they are like 27, and have spent several years in Wonka Land, the Brass runs an IO campaign (military lingo for information operations) on one of these stiffs, convincing Pirateland that he's a hot prospect. (NOTE: hot prospects are not in their late 20's with minor league era's in the mid to high 4's. Baseball has more fitting titles for those guys: middle reliever, number 5 starter, or "bum".)
Then they call him up, and he usually gets hammered pretty damn good. Generally, these guys will have a 6+ era and a one way bus ticket back to Indianapolis within a month. Let's wait and see on Van Ben. Maybe I'll be wrong.
Well, I think it's time to start opening beer cans. Until we stink again...
1 comment:
oompa loompas actually make a product. crap is not a product.
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