A Baker's Dozen

Kudos to all the North Shore boys for notching win #12 as another NFL season draws to a close. Despite the ringing of Big Ben's bell, the team executed well in a 'meaningless' game, and now stride towards January on a high note.

Some quick hitters:

• Sadly, we will no longer be able to mock Romeo Crennel in his sub-Arctic parka. Farewell, Romeo, you leave Heinz Field for the last time knowing that you were truly a shitty coach.
• Game ball to FWP for cutting through another Cleve Brownie defense like a hot knife through MP's hair gel.
• A quick shout to J-Cerv, Houtzdale's greatest tailgater. Looking forward to seeing his bootleg # 43 jersey on Jan 11th.
• All apologies to Jets fans for inaccurately reporting that Brett Favre would end their season with a big January interception. It was actually a series of December interceptions. As Packers fans would say, karma can be a real bitch.
• Kudos to A Dawg, as he was voted PittsburghFan reader of the year. (the ticket scalping helped his cause.) Russ's ban is lifted.
• Another shout to J.D. McNugent, Lot Green 22's most incredible underage party dog.
• Bring on the Playoffs!!!

A Black and Gold Christmas

As we open our gifts, drink our egg nog, and endure our insufferable in-laws and extended families, our beloved Men of Steel gear up for the "meaningless" season finale. Although this should be a week of love, peace, happiness, and joy, I realize that a few of us towel twirlers have some residual saltiness towards all things black and gold after the Titan-ic debacle last Sunday.

I thought I'd focus this article on reminding us all of what a true gift this season has been (thus far), and what true blessings our teams have bestowed upon us (usually).

• By notching win # 11 in Baltimore, the Steelers have ensured themselves of their 5th division title in the last 8 years, and a record of 10-5-1 or better for an astonishing 9th time in the last 17 seasons.
• 10 wins or better in 11 of those same 17 seasons, 14 seasons .500 or better.
• 12 post season appearances during those 17 years.
• 6 AFC championship berths from 1992-2005, with this season as a potential 7th.

Although it seemed like a slight when the team only garnered three Pro Bowl nods, I think it speaks volumes of the depth of this roster. Nothing should underscore the stellar seasons of Harrison, Polamalu, and Farrior, but the subtitle on this story was "Depth". The continual yeoman effort of veterans Taylor, Smith, Hampton, Ward, Miller, Clark, and Keisel, the emergence of Woodley, and the development of Gay, Holmes, and Timmons are the stories behind the story. Maybe the true MVPs on this team are suit and tie guys Kevin Colbert and Omar Khan.

The Ben for MVP clamor by A Dawg and MP will unfortunately fall upon death ears,...but it carries serious credence. In short, the Rooney family gave His Largeness the keys to the city with a bag full of monopoly moolah, and he embraced his obligations the way a champion and a captain should. To play hurt (and win), behind an average line, with an underachieving corps of receivers, and a stable of runners that is anything but stable, tells you about the leadership and skills of #7 and the unity of his team behind him.

Last, and certainly not least, we must consider the impact of second year head coach, Michael Tomlin. Despite being the youngest head coach of any team found in the four major American sports leagues, Mr. Tomlin has displayed aged savvy while serving as the solidifying force worthy of comparisons to his great predecessors, Chuck Noll and Bill Cowher. Although Bernie Mac won't be bringing home a Coach of the Year trophy in February, he has now run his mark to 21-10 in regular season play, tops amongst active coaches. His efforts while skippering his vessel through choppy waters this year should not go unnoticed...but they will.

Perhaps I should have posted this article on Thanksgiving, as a composition of how much Steeler Nation should truly be thankful for. This weekend, a good fifteen or so NFL cities can worry about anything other than football, while another dozen cities can desperately cling to their mathematical chances. The Black and Golders are once again in that small fraternity of fans that can enjoy their holiday without any worries as they look ahead to January with high hopes. Thank you Santa for giving us such an incredible and durable present...The Pittsburgh Steelers.

New Poll

Good morning! Allow me to offer a quick apology for the lack of recent posts. In short, way too much focus on my company Christmas party. I will have a new post to cover the Titan-ic shipwreck later tonight.

I have added a new poll, and I want to congratulate you all for the correct voting in Poll #1. The Steelers have continued their AFC North dominance in 2008, as the team won it's fifth division title in eight years.

More from me later...

Fast Talking from Fast Willie

Fast Willie Parker began stirring the cauldron of controversy as he eulogized the death of "Steeler Football" yesterday, drawing ire from head coach Mike Tomlin. Tomlin politely suggested that Parker keep his stiff arms to the playing field and not direct them at embattled offensive coordinator, Bruce Arians. Most fans should know by now that some towel twirlers will always clamor for the illusive "Steeler Football" regardless of how well the team is performing. I guess 130 yards of inside running trumps a victory any day. Go figure.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, brings out the Steeler Football montra and the old #36 jerseys faster than a game in which the black shirted fellas get stopped on a short 4th down conversion. Ask a Steeler fan which is more important: repairing the economy or repairing the goal line offense, and well...you know how the polls will read.

The last thing this team needs three days prior to the biggest game of the year is in house bickering over the offensive philosophy. With all that being said, it remains clear that the running game (with or without a fullback) needs to be stepped up. The more accurate reality is that it was two injuries (FWP's knee and Rashard Mendenhall's shoulder) that have hurt the running game far more than any play calling or roster moves.

Without falling into regression, let's focus on the outstanding victory on Sunday against the hated Cowboys. Here are a few pics from the "luxury" area of Club East.

Steve Matthews and his Montana whiskey get the picture of the day

question: which tight end didn't score a touchdown and help his team to victory?

QUICK HITTERS:

• Game balls to Deshea Townsend, San Holmes, and MP for winning "least hospitable fan" for like the 6th straight year.
• What was the actual temperature at the final buzzer? I could no longer feel my face.
• Kudos again to all Bethel Park grads as their team continues their improbable and historic run. Good luck on Saturday night. A Dawg says to watch out for hard running tailback Lyle Marsh.

The Immigrant Song

-this post is dedicated to my good friends Tony and A Dawg, two men who equate Zeppelin and Steeler dominance to life staples, such as oxygen and beer .

"...we come from the land of the ice and the snow..."

As a fan of an NFL franchise, life is fairly simple from September to January. The goals are clear and uncomplicated. The tangled web of life is circumvented every Sunday, as your focus and priorities are defined. You want your team to play well. By playing well, they win games. By winning enough games, they win their division. By winning even more game, they earn home field slots for the playoffs. So, as our beloved Black and Gold move towards yet another divisional title, and yet another home playoff berth, they do so while becoming one of the NFL's elite invasionary forces.



no caption necessary

The Steelers rolled their road record to a lofty 5-1 yesterday with the 33-10 pasting of the resident AFC boogeymen, the New England Patriots. Although the Minneapolis franchise wears the Viking horns, it's the vessel from the Allegheny that rows ashore, steals your possessions, burns your fields, and yes, has their way with your women without extending the courtesy of foreplay or even cuddling. While the Tennesee Titans wield the NFL's best road record, nobody comes a-marauding with more blatant defiance and irreverence than Mike Tomlin's battalion of bastard butchers.

When Bill Beli-cheat gazes into his crystal ball of illegal Sony video footage, he will see James Harrison's extended middle finger waving in his smug face. Last night's crushing was as big a win as any under Mike Tomlin, as the Steelers gather more confidence by slugging the biggest bully on the block right in his choppers. My brother Wayne would call this a Scott Farkus moment. (editor's note: Wayne has now seen "A Christmas Story" 389 times and shows no visible signs of slowing down any time soon.)

Farkus would later mentor Belichick on the art of being an asshole

The Steelers enter the final quarter of the regular season with a record of 9 wins and 3 losses, alone atop the AFC North, much like their circumstances from exactly one year ago. These would be the only similarities between the two teams. The 2007 Steelers entered the final quarter sliding faster than the value of your 401K, with critical injuries on both sides of the ball, a special teams best described as comical, and a rookie coach who was still learning on the job. The 2008 version is riding into the final turn with a stellar defense, a solid special teams, an offense that is slowly finding it's rhythm, and a coach that is gaining confidence and poise by the week. Most importantly, the team is finally finding it's swagger as it comes out of New England playing a complete game in all phases. This final quarter is going to show just how dominant this team could be.

Quick Hitters:

• The Large One was a few drops away from what could have been a big day statistically. The Nate Washington dropped TD was inexcusable.


• 11 years ago, Tony, his cousin Jake, and I discussed this young stud linebacker named Vrabel while watching a game against the Patriots. Oh, that young stud wore a black jersey that day.


• Game balls to Silver Back, Polamalu, Hampton, Ben, FWP/M. Moore, and of course, Mitch Berger for punting longer than 21 yards.


• Another shout to all Bethel Park grads, as their team prepares to now do battle with the Hoth Ice Raiders to decide the Inter Planetary Championships!

My Quick Pre-Tahoe Post

Ok, I'm going to Tahoe with some dudes for Thanksgiving, and no, I'm not gay. It's 9:50 pm, my flight leaves at 7:35 am tomorrow, and I haven't packed. See, I'm too disorganized to be gay.

For tonight, no links, no grand story, just a simple pick and some quick hitters:

• so it looks like the Steelers front office reads my blog, as they listened to me and re-signed Mitch Berger. Yes, the Paul Ernster 27 ypp average was too much to tolerate.


• my jersey jinx is at it again, as I've sent Keisel the Diesel to the training room again.


• how will the Pats air attack look with Ryan Clark, and not A Smith, in as FS?


• props to all Bethel Park grads for their stunning victory.

And finally...a pic I leave you with.

Drink beer, wave a towel, and buy a Chevy

Hey Norv...Eat Me

The situation was precarious for the Black and Gold, trailing 10-8 late in the game, with Freddy Sanchez on third and Nate McLouth coming to the plate...wait, wrong sport. Let me start over.

With a final score fitting of a high school JV game, the Steelers took care of the San Diego Lightning Bolts by the slimmest of margins, 11-10. You've heard Bill Cowher say it, you've heard Joe Pa say it, you've probably heard Chuck Noll say it, and now you will hear coach Mike Tomlin say it: good teams need to win the ugly games. Although the score (and perhaps the officiating) was ugly, the outcome and impact of this game was a thing of beauty.

Norv asks Tomlin where he can get that bitchin' parka

The Steelers exited the tunnel on Sunday afternoon, under a grey and snowy sky, as a team very much needing an identity. Although they may not have found it by the time the scoreboard hit double zeros, I think they are onto to some clues. All week Coach Tomlin called upon his "A Guys" to have A games on Sunday. He got that. In the end, each of the stand up guys: Polamalu, Smith, Harrison, Roethlisberger, Parker, Reed, Ward, Farrior, Keisel, Taylor, and Foote all stepped up and made their impact on a game with 'must-win' written all over it.

Quick Hitters:

• game balls to Ben, Troy, Fast Willie, and madman James Harrison.


• can the Steelers find a punter with a shorter range?


• props to Matt Spaeth and William Gay as they continue to develop their games.

Can Dan Now Write that Check?

Just as most of us are finally coming to grips with how financially screwed we really are, it's always re-assuring to know that our favorite sports soap opera family have decided on the value of the family nest egg. Just as you and your siblings will one day squabble over the value of your parents' china and Perry Como vinyls, the First Family of Pittsburgh have determined that the team that they have been pettily fighting over is now worth $800 million (give or take a few million). Not too shabby for an investment of what, $2,500, some 75 years ago? Not sure about the math on this, but I think that is almost equivalent to averaging a yearly rate of return of around 21% for a span of 75 years. Not a bad pick. One can only think that stadium beer prices will now escalate to $11.50 per cup, in support of Chairman Dan's latest fundraising scheme. My goal is to live to see the day where a single beer inside the Great Ketchup Bottle will be more expensive than a 12 pack down the street...but I digress.

Some Quick Hitters:

• Congrats to all Bethel Park grads as their alma mater runs their pristine mark to 12-0, setting up a showdown with a title on the line.
• With the rash of CB signings this week, I have this sick feeling that Philip Rivers will net some air yardage tomorrow.
• A belated thanks to the Flyers for being so shitty. After watching the City of Brotherly Shove party non-stop for the past three weeks in celebration of the Phils' title, Thursday night's Pens' victory was just what the doctor ordered.

Big Ben or Big Bum???

Sitting in the serene of landscape of Alco Tailgate Lot Green 22, listening to that overly re-hashed collage of Copeisms and savoring the delicately blended aromas of perogies, puke, and piss, our good friend J.D. McNugent asked an important and oddly relevant question: "who was more popular, Ben or Bradshaw?" Contrary to what the legendary crooner Bob Dylan might expect us to believe, the answer, my friend, is not blowing in the wind. As Ed Bouchette points out in his daily question, the starting quarterback on the North Shore is, and will always be, an amazingly scrutinized position.

a good question, indeed

Despite the short flashes of brilliance from journeymen like Mark Malone, Bubby Brister, Neil O'Donnell, Tommy Maddox, and the unforgettable Kordell Stewart, there have only been two blue chippers behind a Black and Gold clad center in the post-merger era...Ben and Bradshaw. Both have written their own bio's in the epic tale of Steeler football.

This blogger is not qualified or motivated to write the great comparison article. We'll leave that to the writers who are actually gifted enough to be paid for their work, not a hack writing free dribble for all of you who are simply one click away from beholding today's newest YouPorn files. This hack, however, would like to offer some opinion on Ben's current funk, in hopes of opening some healthy dialogue.

So what about Big Ben? Is this the first serious speed bump on his mercurial rise to superstardom? You know, 2006 can conveniently be dismissed as his post-motorcycle thing. Can the same excuse be made of his ailing shoulder, now that the Large One is no longer a brash 23 year old hot shot, but a wise, seasoned 26 year old veteran with a 102 million dollar check tucked next to the condoms in his sock drawer.

From the moment Ben stood behind center as a redshirt freshman at Miami of Ohio, he has basically been "the guy". Even Coach Bill Cowher's plan of bringing him along slowly as a rookie in 2004 was foiled as the team took injuries to veterans Charlie Batch and Tommy Maddox. Essentially, Ben has been the guy that had been called upon to be the hero day in and day out for the last eight years. It's amazing to think that Ben has only been in the NFL for five seasons when you consider the accomplishments. If anyone understands (and responds to) pressure, it's Number 7. Reverting back to the original question, it's a safe argument to say that Ben has accomplished more in his 4+ years than Bradshaw did in his first 10. Maybe a few less Superbowls, but hey, a few less Hall of Famers around him, as well.

of course, Ben hasn't recorded a hit country album yet

It's hard to find a more textbook definition of golden boy. Since Week 2 of his rookie season, Roethlisberger has been the face of a franchise,...and not just any franchise, but a franchise that other programs are measured against. He is the oarsman that rows the lifeboat of Steeler Nation, and at the moment, the waters are somewhat choppy. NFL fans have short memories, and it won't take many more bad performances before Big Ben hears some Big Boohs.

This scenario is not unique to the Burgh. Just ask those few dozen Philadelphians that are still card carrying members of the Donovan McNabb Fan Club. When you are expected to win, you are expected to win. It's that simple. Ben is now at that lonely crossroads where guys like Favre, McNabb, Brady and Manning have stood before him. He's no longer the wunderkind, but the franchise guy who has been given the keys to the city along with a briefcase full of money, and the great commission to just "win, baby". Mike Tomlin says it clearly every week during his press conference: "the expectations do not change." One must wonder if the great gunslinger himself, Brett Favre, would be clinging to his career so zealously at the senior age of 39, had he not experienced all of his major success at the early stages of his career.

The optimist inside me says that Ben will rise above this as he does every time adversity knocks. Like Bradshaw, decades before, it's his job to lead this team. I truly believe that his performance, as well as his team's, over the next 9 days will dictate the balance of the 2008 season. Will the team re-group and make a drive for yet another AFC North title, or will we be remembering 2008 as the lost season?

life was so much simpler then

Comments please...I'm spent!

NFL Bail Out Plan: Fine the Steelers

Another Steeler had his bling account lightened as the NFL fined Lamarr Woodley for slamming Redskin QB Jason Campbell to the ground during the Black and Gold romp on Monday Night. Also on the blotter was captain James Farrior, who was issued a warning for using excessive force when high fiving teammate Larry Foote. Coach Mike Tomlin was also asked by the Commissioner's office to not throw that little red flag so hard...someone might get their eye put out.

Woodley was never fined for decking QB's at Michigan

Quick Hitters:

• Ben in, Parker out.
• Indy winless in the Burgh for 40 years.
• Will the new punter, Ernster, be a factor on Sunday?

And I Just kept Calling Him Dante

"We heard them tonight" - James Farrior commenting on the estimated 25,000+ Steelers fans in Fed Ex Field for Monday Night.

And Steeler Nation has cast it's ballot

With last night's shellacking of the first place Redskins under the shimmering lights of prime time, in the nation's capital, on the eve of the presidential election, one can start to detect some subtle similarities between the 2008 Steelers and the powerhouse teams of 2001, 2004, and 2005: 1) A stingy (if not smothering) defense. 2) An offense that shows the depth and character to continually withstand injuries to key players while doing enough to get the win.

The efforts last night will not soon be forgotten. Although this blog has a clearly defined ban on moronic sports cliches, like "statement game", a statement was made nonetheless. The devastating assault that the Black and Gold defense laid down on a highly efficient offense was one for the books. In reality, the Steelers shut the Skins out at home, when you consider that 6 points were gifted in the first few minutes of the contest. And what more can be said about Byron Leftwich? Just like Charlie Batch in 2005, Leftwich demonstrated the ability to pick up for an ailing Ben and get the job done. Somewhere in Jacksonville a disgruntled fan is sticking a voodoo pin in a Jack Del Rio bobblehead doll.



Leftwich urging Jax Jags fans to boo more quietly

Once again, don't take my word for it. Check out what the Pulitzer Prize winning Washington Post said about the smack down. The interesting comments are once again those that chronicle that glorious thing we call Steeler Nation. This particular beat writer goes as far as to say that the Steelers were the home team last night.

A Few more quick hitters before I go feed my cat:

• Kudos to homeboy Tony for pointing out that my intoxicated mouth kept calling Leftwich "Dante" last night. (I guess meaning Dante Culpepper. I really need to drink less beer)


• The "oh, by the way" award goes to safeties Tyrone Carter and Anthony Smith for negating the Ryan Clark injury with solid play.


• Tomlin gets his first career road win against a team with a winning record.


• The new long snapper looked ok.


• Can Nate go one game without a long reception?
  

COMING SOON: THE STEELERS 2008 MID TERM GRADES

Tomlin Cashing In

Kudos to our good friend and PittsburghFan roving reporter J-Cur for digging up some video footage of the soon to be released commercial featuring Coach Mike Tomlin. Bernie Mac looks as insightful as ever as he fields the Yinzer questions.

A few quick hitters on this most boring of football Saturdays:

• Despite running out an impressive 15-8 regular season record in his short coaching career, Tomlin is yet to beat a team with a winning record on the road. Hopefully that distinction falls on Monday Night.
• With San Holmes and FWP back in action on Monday, we should see some movement in the yard sticks against a defense rated 31st, and playing without starting CB Shawn Springs.
• A victory in the Nation's capital would be huge, leaving the team at 6-2 with 5 of the last 8 games in Heinz Field.

3 Blunts + 1 Holding - 1 Snapper = Loss

Midway through the five hour drive home from the 'Burgh following Sunday's stinging loss to the New York Football Giants, only one thought streamed through my oddly sober mind..."just what might the outcome had been had Santonio Holmes reconsidered his fateful decision to parade around town with weed in his car?" Well, like the Tootsie Roll Pop commercial tells us, the world may never know. Before I jump on the bandwagon of bloggers that have vilified Holmes and his ride on the Pineapple Express, let's remember that we probably wouldn't be making these points had Holmes been injured and not in Coach Tomlin's dog house. In other words, it's very convenient to instantly say that Holmes lost the game for us because he was a bonehead. Ok, maybe so or maybe not.

The reality here is that the team squared off against the world champs without Holmes and Willie Parker (their top two offensive playmakers), as well as their starting left tackle and a very good coverage guy in Bryan McFadden. Then they lost their free safety at a point when the Giants were relying heavily on the aerial attack. If this wasn't enough to set the drama, the team also lost their long snapper, which led to the disastrous experiment of hired killer James Harrison hiking a punt in a critical juncture of the contest, with the game clearly hanging in the balance. For those readers that were spared the agony of viewing that spectacle, let me summarize it this way: long snapping is now added to the list of things that you would rather not see James Harrison do, along with things like dating your teenage daughter, grooming your cat, or re-decorating your foyer with soft pastels and a subtle new age theme.

the ambitious Harrison would also audition for emergency QB and team owner

Casting aside all these hurdles with more ease than Santonio discards his roaches, the Steeltown boys would still have been on the W side of the scorecard if it had not been for poor execution at critical times. Costly penalties and turnovers took at least 10 points off the board, and were ultimately what separated the Steelers from what could have (and should have) been a gallant victory. The beleaguered O line put out yet another woeful exhibition, and Big Ben struggled mightily at adopting to a three step drop, thus holding the ball for what seemed to be an eternity. Hines Ward eventually got involved in the parade of errors by dropping yet another pass, widening his lead over AFC receivers in that category. The Giants seemed to be playing on a short field all afternoon, forcing the Black and Gold D to make numerous Herculian stands throughout the contest.

So, what's more to say? After a slew of critical injuries (and one dubious de-activation), and after a bevvy of miscues and bad breaks, the Steelers were still a few plays away from a big victory against a great team. Let's wait until next week's matchup with the 'Skins to form a conclusion about this team. If we are sitting at 6-2 next Tuesday morning, we can collectively throw the Giants game in the can. Or as Santonio might say, in the bowl.

A few quick hitters before I go drink beer:

• Is it just me, or does the Ben to Nate combo look like a legitimately scary deep threat?


• If anyone out there has a confirmed sighting of Matt Spaeth or Dallas Baker, please contact the PittsburgFan offices immediately.


• Ike Taylor quietly held another great receiver (Burress) in check.


• Watching Casey Hampton struggle to waddle his fat ass off the field after two consecutive plays is just plain sad.


• Mewelde Moore has over 300 yards rushing in the last three games. Not bad for your third stringer.


• Kudos to my sister-in-law's friend and her large, creamy gobs.
  
• Last and not least, a big shout out to my buddy J Cerv for coming out and having a great time! Hope to see you for a few more games, and congrats on the baby!
  
  Gods and tailgaters

Ben 11, Ohio 0

Professional sports matchups are all about the ownership. You know, the way Montana owned Elway, or the way Kelly owned Marino, the way Olajuwon owned Robinson, or how Jordan owned, well...everyone! We can now add another ownership tag to our list of completely one sided, landslide dominations: Big Ben owns Ohio. Yesterday's pasting of the hapless and rudderless Bungals, in the Queen City, pushed Large Benny's record in his home state to 11-0. Truly, that is a stat that should humiliate all Bengal and Brown fans. In the Bungals' defense, the Queen City looked like Heinz Field West yesterday, as the CBS cameramen managed to capture shot after shot of swirling yellow hankies. How embarrassing that must be...but don't take my word for, read the local Cincy beat writer's recap of the beat down.

Coach Lewis demonstrates his all too familiar grimmace of disgust

Depending on what AFC North team you root for, you will find Mr. Daugherty's commentary either amusing or disturbingly sickening. I found his "black and gold clad fans...shooting a middle finger at the Bengals fans" remark to be not only hilarious, but sadly telling of just how depressing this one-way relationship really is. Well, Cincy, cheer up, I think the Reds finished ahead of the Buccos yet again.

Some Quick Hitters:

• A telling stat: the Steelers are now 28-1 when Ben records a game rating of over 100.


• Mewelde Moore rushing for 220 yards in two games says something about the revamped offensive line, and more directly, the inventive playcalling of Bruce Arians.


• Polamalu sounds off about the softness of the league, and then leaves the game with a concussion caused by his own reckless, helmet to helmet impact.


• Say what you want about the recent drafts, second year men Timmons and Woodley have 10.5 sacks through 6 games.

He's Back

After a few lonely months without him, Pittsburgh is all a clamor over the return of the dreadlocked, laundry hamper pooping, baby mom slapping, stairmaster slippin' train wreck otherwise known as Najeh Davenport.

The Dump Truck pulled into the Burgh yesterday afternoon, just in time to be the newest misfit added to Coach Tomlin's backfield of bandaids. Sunday night's stable of runners should look like this: Najeh, the unflappable Mewelde Moore, Carey Davis (on one good ankle), Gary Russell (a step faster than Andy Russell, but less comical than Nipsey Russell), and of course, the plodding Penn Stater , Sean McHugh. Seriously, Franco and Rocky Bleier can rest assured that their lockers in the Great Hall are not in jeopardy.



only O.J. has seen more court dates than the beleaguered Davenport

The return of Davenport drove home Chairman Dan Rooney's time honored position on off field conduct...bad eggs are NOT welcome on the North Shore, unless, of course, there are enough injuries to starters, and then anything goes. This writer can only speculate how long it will be before Verron Hayes and his rubber checkbook are welcomed home.

Expect more big things from Mewelde Moore, who finally got into the action on Monday night. The lone back, red gun thing may be what the doctor ordered for this woeful line.


Moore getting his chin strap adjusted by linebacker and part time equipment manager, Larry Foote

Speaking of Monday night. A few game balls from my perspective: Big Ben for finally driving his foot up the offense's collective asses, the aforementioned Moore, the linebacking corps, San Holmes, and of course, the girls up in section 114.

.

September always ushers in a fresh crop

Don't look now Dallas fans, but it appears that Jessica Simpson has changed her colors

Beneral Hospital

Get ready the newest soap opera saga on the North Shore. The tales of Big Ben's ailing shoulder. Post Gazette released a story and picture today in futile attempts to clarify the speculation created by the Sunday Night Football cast.

I'm no doctor, but it looks like Ben may have swallowed a sock puppet.

The reports surrounding this injury have more inconsistencies than my eHarmony profile. (although I really wanted to be an astronaut). Every arm chair surgeon in Western PA has analyzed Ben's chart, only to reach the same conclusion: Ben will play on Sunday. I'm sure the drama will continue to unfold as we approach game day against the hated Philadelphia Iggles.

Neither hurt shoulder nor Hurricane Ike could stop Ben

In other health related news, my jersey jinx came through again, as I helped Brett Keisel to the training table with a calf injury. I should just stick with throwbacks.

A few more quick hitters from the weekend:

• Has anyone noticed that the Steelers first unit still hasn't yielded a TD yet?


• If Romeo Crennel is not on the hot seat yet, he will be after another pitiful coaching job like Sunday night.
  
• Is the PSU offense this lethal, or has the schedule been this pitiful?


• The Bucs go unnoticed in bringing down elusive win #63, once again guaranteeing a sub 100 loss season.

The Gold (and Black) Edition

Happy times are here again

Wow, PittsburghFan turning 50. What a year of milestones this has been: my 40th birthday, my 20th anniversary with the Army, and now my 50th post. I figured that there is no better way of ringing in this achievement than by chronicling the impressive ass whoop that Steeltown laid on the Texans yesterday. Make no mistake, Sunday's game definitely proved who is not the best NFL team in Texas. The Steelers pummeled the Texans with their typical early September rudeness, running their record to 6-0 in the last six openers.

The glorious day started around 9:15 am when I, and the PF road crew hit the tailgating lot. Oh, for the record, Green 22 is the best kept secret in town on a game day.

T Bone and Slugger...sadly, I think they're still sober

the crew and friends enjoying some tail gate

ON TO THE GAME!

and we're underway!

completely blowing up the running lanes

now that's $7 million well spent!

Starks explains to Mean Joe why he makes more this season that Greene did for his entire Hall of Fame career

Stapleton either plans on punting or he is expecting a side career as a Nazi re-enacter. Neither endeavor appears lucrative...

another long day in the books for the unselfish and hardworking crew at PittsburghFan

I'm Back...Again

I vow to never, ever, ever take off four months again. I must apologize for the extended hiatus, but this summer has had its share of distractions, but I am re-focused and back on the beat.

So where were we? Oh yeah, the Steelers. Now that Indian summer is in the air, the brats are back to school, and the summer patio furniture is soon to be hauled to the shed (or to the curb for you Levittown readers), us men must once again turn our attention to that single most important item on life's agenda: THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE.

Let's face it, after the heart wrenching defeat in the NHL finals, and after enduring about three quarters of the Pirates' latest abortion, us suburban carnivores deserve a little TLC in our collective sports psyche. Let's hope the boys of Steeltown deliver.

So anyway, the blog is back for another year. This year I promise more in depth coverage, better graphics...well, actually just graphics, celebrity interviews, more candid (profane) commentary, and of course, an occasional large bosom or two. Speaking of large bosoms, I just sat in my new rock star seats in section 133, and let's just say that the Steeler chicks were out that night. But don't take my word for it, check out the pictures below...

damn, do I love the Black and Gold

UPCOMING: PITTSBURGH FAN Gold Edition Posting (aka 50th entry)

Steelers Clarify Domestic Abuse Policy

The Pittsburgh Steelers made perfectly clear their position and policy towards players who are involved in domestic abuse cases: if you are going to bitch slap your woman, you had better be a Pro Bowler.

It's a rare day that this blog will take pot shots at Chairman Dan Rooney, but his explanation yesterday on why the team released reserve wide out Cedric Wilson, while retaining Pro Bowl linebacker James Harrison, was pitiful (at best). This flimsy and transparent attempt to mask a blatant double standard is already reverberating throughout the national media scene. I can only liken Rooney's cardboard explanation to that of that fat, gay politician that was playing footsie in the airport bathroom, only to explain it away as his typical pooping protocol.

Harrison's public outreach and easy going nature were the factors that prompted Rooney to not take action

Call this what it is. If Wilson had been coming off a 1,000 yard receiving season, or if Harrison was still battling to earn a starting job, the players' fates would have been the same. As much as I love the play of Jimmy Harrison, and as neutral as I am to Wilson's performances, this is a sad day for an organization and family that has stood for fairness and decency for a long time. The Steelers are clocking their bitches at a rate that would even make Ike Turner proud. When you add these two events to the Santonio Holmes domestic violence charges of 2006, you can bet that the Men of Steel will now garner every wife beating nickname and moniker available.

Penny Wise but Dollar Foolish??

Prisco ran a great article last week regarding the pros and cons of these mega dollar NFL free agency signings. The picture at the top...

For the CiffNotes version of this article - when it comes to NFL high end free agency, the bads outweigh the goods. A little blah, blah about how the only game changers that are worth the ridiculous dollars being plunked down on these players are franchise QB's, and realistically, those guys just aren't available via free agency. Hmm, doesn't this sound like the mantra that has billowed out of the North Shore offices for the last 15 years? A great case in point was the mega deal of 1996 that the Jets made to nab the unexceptional Neil O'Donnell. This was the deal that was to change the directions of two teams. O'Donnell started a whopping total of 21 games for the Jets. Even more unremarkably, he NEVER started a playoff game in his entire post-Steelers career. But he did get paid. As far as the whole changing of directions thing...the Steelers were back in the AFC Championship Game in 1997 under the even more unremarkable Kordell Stewart, whilst the Jets would go 10-22 during Mr. O'Dollar's two forgettable years in the Big Apple.

Does anyone else find it comically prophetic that the Jets broke the piggy bank on another Steelers a dozen years later? So, let's fast forward to late November and the Jets are sitting on 4 or 5 wins, a handful of games behind the Pats, and a few games out of Wild Card contention. The now more affluent (and more comfortable) Mr. Faneca decides that he needs to sit out of practice for a week to rest his sore calf. Hell, maybe he even misses a game or two. At what point is Faneca greeted with the cascading of the Bronx cheer as the inevitable disenchantment surfaces? Let's see how forgiving the New Yorkers are when Faneca pulls a false start as his team trails the Pats by three touchdowns. And let me make this clear, he has NEVER sustained this kind of venomous booing from the Yinzers in Heinz Field. You don't need a crystal ball to know that Faneca's honeymoon in the Big Apple may be even briefer than Bobby Bonilla's ill fated free agency flop. So, at what point do the Jets faithful get their first taste of Alan-tude, the salty shit that Steeler fans were served every time Faneca got pissed.

The reality of the situation is that a guard, regardless of his caliber, is not going to change the direction of a team single handedly, and he is not going to provide the impact that the cost warranted. The Jets' players must be sharing this thought as they are already openly complaining about Faneca's hiring. So much for a welcoming committee. Mark my words on this, Faneca's tenure in the Bronx will resemble O'Donnell's. I peg his NY career at three years, with his performance ranging between good and mediocre, given the climate around him. It wouldn't surprise me to see Number 66 moving to a city like Foxboro or Indy or even back to the Burgh in 2011 to finish out his career on a contender. It happens all the time, and Faneca has proven that he is not the kind of guy that can remain content in situations that are less than ideal. Can you blame him...no, he has a ring now he has his bling.

That Was Myron Cope...on Sports

I was in Atlanta covering the Marian Hossa trade when I got the text message that Myron Cope had died. I was a bit numb, as I'm sure most of you were. For those that don't understand the Pittsburgh Steelers Nation, Mr. Cope was an annoying, fringe member of the second tier of American sports journalists. In other words, a household name in his local market, and fairly unrenowned and nameless elsewhere. Maybe a glorified version of the quirky Bill Curry that passed away a month earlier.

For those that are citizens of Steelers Nation, we knew Myron Cope as the spokesman for a generation. We all know that the Steelers did their whole 75th anniversary thing this year, but when we ground ourselves in reality, the true history of our Steelers dates from 1972-ish to the present. There is no voice more suitable to narrate that 35 year living highlight film than that of Myron Cope. No voice was more welcome at the outset of a stadium rocking play, and no voice summized chagrin better after a bone headed miscue. Hence the duality of a die hard fan...the enigma of love/hate.

The beauty of being a local sportscaster is that one can shed some of the required objectivity that national media members must hold. In other words, he or she can actually be a fan of the teams they cover. Myron Cope was a true Steeler fan, and through his passion for the team and the city, he became forever entwined in the lore of both.

Cope is as Black and Gold as those Terrible Towels that he popularized. He's as much of a part of the yinzer culture of the Burgh as a Primanti Bros sandwich or a steaming plate of pierogies in a tailgate lot outside the stadium. I would even go as far as to say that excluding players, the five most relevant figures in our Steelers history would be Dan Rooney, Art Rooney, Charles Noll, Bill Cowher, and Myron Cope. It may come as a stretch to some, but that's how shaping Cope was to Steeler culture.

Cope's naming of the "Immaculate Reception" was as prophetic as it was ingenious. That catch ushered in a new, unprecedented era of enlightenment, salvation, and eventually glory. Myron Cope has been, and will always be, the bantering soundtrack behind this glory. No true Steeler fan can go a single Sunday afternoon without uttering at least a couple Cope-isms...Yoi, The Bungles, Okel Dokel, Doube Yoi, Chaz "the Emperor" Noll,...the list goes on and on.

I had the fortune of meeting Mr. Cope twice. Both times in the same elevator at Allegheny General Hospital, sometime around 1990. He was visiting his ailing wife, and I was visiting my Dad, who was just recovering from open heart surgery. Although the surrounding circumstances were somber and less than ideal, it was a great privilege, nonetheless, to meet such a great and influential man. We will miss you, Myron. Rest in peace. Hopefully, right now, you, Mike Webster, and Art Rooney are enjoying some stogies, a few Iron City's, and reminiscing the 1978 Super Bowl team!

Pittsburgh says goodbye to a great man

Over Time Losses are not Like Kissing Your Sister

Two games, two losses, two points, huh? Welcome to the world of the "three point game", as the guys at Penguin Wire would say. The OTL is another New America way of saying no one's a loser, we're all just special. This is hogwash, a loss is a loss. The Pens are in all actuality, 9-8 since Crosby's injury. Not so bad if you consider you're still plus .500 without your best player, even more impressive when you consider that said best player is also the best player on the planet.

This site, as well as every other Pittsburgh blog has given beaceau props to Geno Malkin, but who are some of the other heroes...



Ty Conklin caught the red eye from Wilkes Barre and now leads the NHL in save percentage. Can anyone say pay raise?



Petr Sykora has added leadership, scoring, and another Eastern European misspelling of an easy name



AND OF COURSE




the picture says it all


For the record, kissing your sister is never a good idea, regardless of how early you started drinking that day....

Unless, of course, you're Brady Quinn

Are You Serious?

Mid February hasn't been the landing zone of sports doldrums in Western PA this year. The Pens are continuing to write a remarkable story, the Steelers have kept our interests with their upcoming draft and free agency strategies, the Pitt hoops teams have us talking (although more profanely these days), then there's the Terrelle Pryor lottery, and wait,...isn't there another team? Oh yeah, the guys down in Bradenton. The Post-Gazette ran a small article yesterday about this marathon pep talk/intervention that the collective brain trust bestowed upon the 65 man roster. For those that really have no desire to click on the link, I welcome the opportunity to translate it for you...

TRANSLATION OF THE PIRATE FRONT OFFICE PEP TALK: ...Guys, the Pittsburgh Pirates are a professional sports organization with legacy dating back well over 100 years. This team has a longstanding tradition of excellence, with championship banners hanging from our rafters, and granite busts adorning the halls of Cooperstown. You, however, are part of the fifteen years of afterbirth that has eroded the great name of this franchise, and transformed this once proud dynasty into the laughing stock that it is today...

FURTHER TRANSLATION (More simplified):...Guys, the Pirates are like that movie about the Titanic. You guys are like that part after they hit the ice berg...

Truly words of inspiration. To continue Mayor McNutting's re-education program, he trotted out the ageless Steve Blass to give yet another motivational speech. For those of you unfamiliar with Blass, he's basically the spokesman for careers that sailed away on the Good Ship Ty-D Bol. Translation: guys, if you keep screwing up, you can wind up with a short lived career, best known for underachievement and regret, just like me. Exactly the message that I would be sending to my troops.



To culminate the mental cruelty, the owners decorated Pirate City's hallowed halls with posters, banners, and memorabilia from the 'glory years'. (sadly, the glory years are now thought of as anything prior to the last 15 seasons of shame). All this, just days after the Bucs inked Byung-Hyun Kim, another 30's something reliever with an E.R.A. hovering around 6 and a stint of stardom well into his rear view mirror. Couple this deal with the blockbuster signing of has-been Doug Mientkiewicz , and you now see that the new strategy is surrounding our young stars with players who can still remember what it's like to win. Some people refer to this sort of thing as a self fulfilling prophesy...

The spring training complex proudly displays this picture of the Bucs' last winning team

MALONE !!!

Philly has Rocky, Pittsburgh has Ryan

A quick tribute to Tony's favorite hockey player, none other than Upper Sinclair's very own Mr. Ryan Malone. The versatile forward's rebound season, driven by his February surge, has him rapidly climbing the list of famous Pittsburgh Malones. (now just narrowly behind the unflappable Mark Malone).

Malone's most recent heroics against Florida have raised his seasonal goal total to 19, just another example of the Penguins doing more with less during Sid Crosby's injury. Tack on a nifty +11, and one must believe that home grown Malone will be challenging Ty Conklin for the Everyman Award.

Malone still tops my list for zaniest facial expressions

Get Wayne Gandy!!!

Remember Wayne Gandy's parting words as he exited the Heinz Field complex in 2002? "You're gonna miss me." (or something to that effect.) Well, maybe Mr. Gandy was no Nostradamus initially, as the team has gone 50-30 with two AFC championship appearances and a Lombardi Trophy in the five years since he's been gone. Five years later, however, the Men of Steel are piecemealing their tin curtain O-line and maybe, just maybe, the newly released Gandy is worth a phone call. Although Gandy is 37 and recovering from a season ending knee injury, one must note that he only missed one game in his previous 13 seasons, and only one start in his previous 12 seasons. Why not let this guy compete with Willie Colon to protect your franchise QB?

Gandy was right, we do miss him

Coming Soon: meet Branden Albert, the man who just might make you forget about Alan Faneca.

So the Penguins are Really like Talladega Nights

Ever notice the bevvy of meat head comments that spring up when a sports superstar goes down with injury, claiming how the team is actually better without the star? Well, since I live in the Land of Sports Meat Heads (aka Philadelphia), I hear these comments constantly. When Iverson would go down, and the team would reel off a few wins, I would hear it. Whenever Donovan goes down (on a somewhat regular basis anymore - but that's a whole different article), I would hear it. When Chase Utley broke his hand and then the Phils continued to win, I heard it. The meat headery would even spill over to the western half of the state. My Philly pals claimed (with certain truth) that Steel Town was better without Ben last year. Hell, I was even compelled to state that the Steelers were better on defense without Polamalu last year. (My chronic love/hate relationship with #43 is also an article for another day).

Last weekend I was out with some friends at Maggianos, and I heard the comment that tops all meat head comments. "The Penguins are better without Sid Crosby". Since I was overly distracted by the platter of cholesteral parmigano in front of me, I couldn't go table by table until I found the moron that made the blasphemous remark and stab him in his ear with that oversized fork that fancy Italian restaraunts use, you know, the one that slightly resembles a small pitch fork.

Last night, however, I did some internet perusing on my own and I did find some interesting nuggets.

PENGUIN PERFORMANCE WITH CROSBY (46 games)
55 Points - 1.195 points per game, prorated to 98 points over 82 games.
2.59 goals per game.

PENGUIN PERFORMANCE WITHOUT CROSBY (10 games)
14 points - 1.400 points per game, prorated to 115 points over 82 games.
3.30 goals per game.

So, by applying some rationale to this hard data, we must conclude that Meat Headimus Maximus from the restaraunt was, in fact, correct. The Pens are actually a better team without The Kid. I'll stop now before you Igloo Nazis show up at my door.

Although the logic is faulty, and really ridiculous, the power surge that has occurred during the last four weeks is remarkable. Frankly, it speaks volumes of the progression of Evgeni Malkin since his spring disappearance during the playoff ousting by Ottowa. Not only has #71 filled up the scorer's sheet, but his agressive style has really supercharged this team with confidence. The fact that a team could go 6-2-2 without it's star scorer and franchise goalie sends a very loud message. This morning the PG ran an article about Malkin's potential to take home some trophies at the end of the year. I'm not sure if a Hart or Ross is in his near future, but I would recommend Malkin for the Cal Naughton, Jr. Award for best performance while stepping up for a fallen comrade superstar. NOTE: if you never saw Talladega Nights, then disregard the previous reference.

Shake and Bake

please meet
Magic Man and El Diablo

My First Hockey Post

40th entry! To celebrate this accomplishment, I thought I'd finally post my first Penguin article. My hockey knowledge base is well below that of football and baseball, so please show me mercy with your comments. I will do my best to cover the Penguins with the same high literary standards that have I maintained in all my posts...



WITH THAT BEING SAID




maybe I should have been focusing on the Pens all along

Just when I was about to call my friend Tony and ask when Sid was expected back, I started noticing articles about The Kid's skating sessions. Although the team and local media are both downplaying an early return, I hear that the locker room chatter is that the Feb 23rd/24th weekend homestand is a stretch goal for Sid's re-entrance. The team has an iron man stretch of 7 games over 13 nights, starting tonight, and leading up to the those 2 weekend home games. Obviously, an early return would be a big boost in the arm. I will note, however, that Gwin The Eskimo is looking pretty solid with his "point per game" prediction during The Kid's hiatus. The team has managed a moderately impressive 4-2-2 (10 points) during the last 3 weeks. Of course, Ben couldn't resist the tempation of reporting the neverending story with his post about Mario skating.

Thank God that Mario can still keep us believing in miracles...

no, not that miracle...