Doctor, It Hurts

The 2007 Pittsburgh Pirate season is slowly (and painfully) becoming the baseball equivalent of a nasty STD. You rarely think about it with anything less than shame and regret, and God, does it hurt! The 'Burgh Bombers have certainly had their fair share of painful seasons over let's say, the last fifteen fucking years, but I never, and I repeat, NEVER, remember this level of frustration.

Seemingly, today's 10th inning loss against the Angels is a perfect snapshot for this woeful season. So close yet so far away, as skipper Jim Tracy would have you believe. But is that really the case? Are we really that close? Sure, two of the last three losses on their current losing streak were in extra innings. Sure, a few more games were lost with a couple bad breaks, and yes, the bad timing that always seems to accompany the bad breaks, and yes, the one or two pitches that we wish we could have had back, blah, blah, fucking, blah. We've heard this story from Mr. Tracy time and time again. We're just this close to being great. Not just good, but great! Honestly, just how in the fuck can a 5th place team be "this close" to being great???

It's a lie. It's a bad team. I don't deny it anymore. Yeah, we lost a couple games in extra frames, but honestly, was there any notion in anyone's mind that the Angels weren't going to win those games? Not mine. We lost 5 outa 6 games against two quality teams, and honestly, it wasn't close, regardless of what the scoreboard or Jim Tracy says. We were outclassed by better teams, period. These were great teams, Mr. Tracy, and we were not that close to these teams. Not at all.

I don't know what you call it, but these guys don't have it. Call it heart, I guess (for the record, I actually hate using that word in this context). Whatever you want to call it, we ain't got it. There is absolutely no clutch hitting, the fundamentals in the field and on the base paths are pathetic, and we can't ever get the outs when we need them. So, let's see, I just listed the 4 aspects of the game: hitting, pitching, base running, and fielding, and we basically suck at all areas. That is really disgraceful. Honestly, that is a coaching level thing, and an organizational thing.

This is a team of mediocre players with sloppy fundamentals, and I'm really not sure if there is a quick fix. In April, we were all excited about the meat of this line up: Freddy Sanchez, Jason Bay, and Adam LaRoche. If that is our "meat", then this team is that tofu burger that only skinny chicks order at one of those new age eateries. These guys just don't get it done,...yeah, even Freddy. Unfortunately, it's no better on the pitching side of the house. We only seem to have realistic win potential with two of our five starters, and the bullpen is probably the saddest story of all. ESPN rated our BP as best in the NL in 2006, now it's a sloppy parade of dudes who frankly aren't fooling anyone. And what is the answer to that? Ok, let's keep 8 relievers! 8 fucking relievers. That's our way of saying "I am using dog shit to put out this fire. It doesn't really work, so I better keep more dog shit on hand."

So what can we do? I'm not sure where the answers are going to come from, and when they will come. GM Littlefield and the Brass keep telling us that we are right around the corner. Around the corner from where, Fuckedtown? Since I am fluent in Shittalk, I can translate these recent comments for you..."Yeah, we suck, and these guys are, in fact, dogs. But they don't cost much, so there is really no need for the yearly Bucco fire sale this July. Yeah, they're right around the corner, alright."

The reality is now sinking in. I have only one answer tonight, - beer...yes, lots and lots of beer.