Thursday, July 12, 2007

Sports Programming at 4:00 AM

After reading some recent emails, I've learned that my readers want to see change. Amongst the most popular requests are:
  1. less pictures of me

  2. more pictures of hot women

  3. more variety in sports coverage

  4. more pictures of hot women

Well, you all will be glad to know that items 2 and 4 will be covered in good time. We got a few things cooking. I'll devote today's post to request # 3 - more variety in sports coverage.

My good friend Johnny C just turned me on to some of the most riveting sports programming of all time. The Rock Paper Scissors Championships on...

Seriously, no shit. Again,...no shit. This mind blowing waste of programming airspace came on around 3:30 am a few nights back. For those that haven't already stopped reading this post, here are some pictures of this dramatic tournament...



rock crushing scissors to advance to semis


first ever female division

After 10 minutes of that insanity, I clicked around to find other mind numbing ideas that ESPN dreamt up. Then I found the motherload.

The ESPN2 Little People Olympics
Wow! Billed as the finest display of world class athletes under four feet tall. This, I got to see. Some of the events:

Midget Basketball

#14 looking curiously like Steve Nash

Midget Boxing




not sure this was sanctioned by the WBA

Midget Jumbo Jet Pulling

It takes about 400 little people to pull a Boeing 747


Midget Hurling



World record holder "Captain Shrimpy"

Midget Streaking

this event is banned in over 12 states

Half time performers "Lil Bump and Grind"
Mini Kiss plays National Anthem and "Detroit Dwarf City"

I don't think the winners earned any prize money. I did hear that the finalists got the complete Lord of the Rings box set, as well as other low budget prizes.

senior bracket champion, Stumpy McGill, was awarded this 50 pound tuna



6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Congratualtions on hitting rock bottom.

Anonymous said...

At least the little people appear to compete with more heart and desire than those happless Orioles. C'mon football season!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, yeah....dude, I see enough of you and know what your mug looks like. MORE PIC's of WOMEN!!!

Anonymous said...

Two things come to mind:
1. It takes a strange mind to post a picture of a nude midget.
2. Sounds like you got a Ravens fan reading. Should be interesting come September.

Anonymous said...

Two years for Baltimore: 1971 and 1979.

Anonymous said...

i like the 83/4 baltimore team...for football that is...nothing like an 18 wheeler in the middle of the night rolling in.

Stay classy Baltimore.