3 Blunts + 1 Holding - 1 Snapper = Loss

Midway through the five hour drive home from the 'Burgh following Sunday's stinging loss to the New York Football Giants, only one thought streamed through my oddly sober mind..."just what might the outcome had been had Santonio Holmes reconsidered his fateful decision to parade around town with weed in his car?" Well, like the Tootsie Roll Pop commercial tells us, the world may never know. Before I jump on the bandwagon of bloggers that have vilified Holmes and his ride on the Pineapple Express, let's remember that we probably wouldn't be making these points had Holmes been injured and not in Coach Tomlin's dog house. In other words, it's very convenient to instantly say that Holmes lost the game for us because he was a bonehead. Ok, maybe so or maybe not.

The reality here is that the team squared off against the world champs without Holmes and Willie Parker (their top two offensive playmakers), as well as their starting left tackle and a very good coverage guy in Bryan McFadden. Then they lost their free safety at a point when the Giants were relying heavily on the aerial attack. If this wasn't enough to set the drama, the team also lost their long snapper, which led to the disastrous experiment of hired killer James Harrison hiking a punt in a critical juncture of the contest, with the game clearly hanging in the balance. For those readers that were spared the agony of viewing that spectacle, let me summarize it this way: long snapping is now added to the list of things that you would rather not see James Harrison do, along with things like dating your teenage daughter, grooming your cat, or re-decorating your foyer with soft pastels and a subtle new age theme.

the ambitious Harrison would also audition for emergency QB and team owner

Casting aside all these hurdles with more ease than Santonio discards his roaches, the Steeltown boys would still have been on the W side of the scorecard if it had not been for poor execution at critical times. Costly penalties and turnovers took at least 10 points off the board, and were ultimately what separated the Steelers from what could have (and should have) been a gallant victory. The beleaguered O line put out yet another woeful exhibition, and Big Ben struggled mightily at adopting to a three step drop, thus holding the ball for what seemed to be an eternity. Hines Ward eventually got involved in the parade of errors by dropping yet another pass, widening his lead over AFC receivers in that category. The Giants seemed to be playing on a short field all afternoon, forcing the Black and Gold D to make numerous Herculian stands throughout the contest.

So, what's more to say? After a slew of critical injuries (and one dubious de-activation), and after a bevvy of miscues and bad breaks, the Steelers were still a few plays away from a big victory against a great team. Let's wait until next week's matchup with the 'Skins to form a conclusion about this team. If we are sitting at 6-2 next Tuesday morning, we can collectively throw the Giants game in the can. Or as Santonio might say, in the bowl.

A few quick hitters before I go drink beer:

• Is it just me, or does the Ben to Nate combo look like a legitimately scary deep threat?


• If anyone out there has a confirmed sighting of Matt Spaeth or Dallas Baker, please contact the PittsburgFan offices immediately.


• Ike Taylor quietly held another great receiver (Burress) in check.


• Watching Casey Hampton struggle to waddle his fat ass off the field after two consecutive plays is just plain sad.


• Mewelde Moore has over 300 yards rushing in the last three games. Not bad for your third stringer.


• Kudos to my sister-in-law's friend and her large, creamy gobs.
  
• Last and not least, a big shout out to my buddy J Cerv for coming out and having a great time! Hope to see you for a few more games, and congrats on the baby!
  
  Gods and tailgaters

Ben 11, Ohio 0

Professional sports matchups are all about the ownership. You know, the way Montana owned Elway, or the way Kelly owned Marino, the way Olajuwon owned Robinson, or how Jordan owned, well...everyone! We can now add another ownership tag to our list of completely one sided, landslide dominations: Big Ben owns Ohio. Yesterday's pasting of the hapless and rudderless Bungals, in the Queen City, pushed Large Benny's record in his home state to 11-0. Truly, that is a stat that should humiliate all Bengal and Brown fans. In the Bungals' defense, the Queen City looked like Heinz Field West yesterday, as the CBS cameramen managed to capture shot after shot of swirling yellow hankies. How embarrassing that must be...but don't take my word for, read the local Cincy beat writer's recap of the beat down.

Coach Lewis demonstrates his all too familiar grimmace of disgust

Depending on what AFC North team you root for, you will find Mr. Daugherty's commentary either amusing or disturbingly sickening. I found his "black and gold clad fans...shooting a middle finger at the Bengals fans" remark to be not only hilarious, but sadly telling of just how depressing this one-way relationship really is. Well, Cincy, cheer up, I think the Reds finished ahead of the Buccos yet again.

Some Quick Hitters:

• A telling stat: the Steelers are now 28-1 when Ben records a game rating of over 100.


• Mewelde Moore rushing for 220 yards in two games says something about the revamped offensive line, and more directly, the inventive playcalling of Bruce Arians.


• Polamalu sounds off about the softness of the league, and then leaves the game with a concussion caused by his own reckless, helmet to helmet impact.


• Say what you want about the recent drafts, second year men Timmons and Woodley have 10.5 sacks through 6 games.

He's Back

After a few lonely months without him, Pittsburgh is all a clamor over the return of the dreadlocked, laundry hamper pooping, baby mom slapping, stairmaster slippin' train wreck otherwise known as Najeh Davenport.

The Dump Truck pulled into the Burgh yesterday afternoon, just in time to be the newest misfit added to Coach Tomlin's backfield of bandaids. Sunday night's stable of runners should look like this: Najeh, the unflappable Mewelde Moore, Carey Davis (on one good ankle), Gary Russell (a step faster than Andy Russell, but less comical than Nipsey Russell), and of course, the plodding Penn Stater , Sean McHugh. Seriously, Franco and Rocky Bleier can rest assured that their lockers in the Great Hall are not in jeopardy.



only O.J. has seen more court dates than the beleaguered Davenport

The return of Davenport drove home Chairman Dan Rooney's time honored position on off field conduct...bad eggs are NOT welcome on the North Shore, unless, of course, there are enough injuries to starters, and then anything goes. This writer can only speculate how long it will be before Verron Hayes and his rubber checkbook are welcomed home.

Expect more big things from Mewelde Moore, who finally got into the action on Monday night. The lone back, red gun thing may be what the doctor ordered for this woeful line.


Moore getting his chin strap adjusted by linebacker and part time equipment manager, Larry Foote

Speaking of Monday night. A few game balls from my perspective: Big Ben for finally driving his foot up the offense's collective asses, the aforementioned Moore, the linebacking corps, San Holmes, and of course, the girls up in section 114.

.

September always ushers in a fresh crop

Don't look now Dallas fans, but it appears that Jessica Simpson has changed her colors

Beneral Hospital

Get ready the newest soap opera saga on the North Shore. The tales of Big Ben's ailing shoulder. Post Gazette released a story and picture today in futile attempts to clarify the speculation created by the Sunday Night Football cast.

I'm no doctor, but it looks like Ben may have swallowed a sock puppet.

The reports surrounding this injury have more inconsistencies than my eHarmony profile. (although I really wanted to be an astronaut). Every arm chair surgeon in Western PA has analyzed Ben's chart, only to reach the same conclusion: Ben will play on Sunday. I'm sure the drama will continue to unfold as we approach game day against the hated Philadelphia Iggles.

Neither hurt shoulder nor Hurricane Ike could stop Ben

In other health related news, my jersey jinx came through again, as I helped Brett Keisel to the training table with a calf injury. I should just stick with throwbacks.

A few more quick hitters from the weekend:

• Has anyone noticed that the Steelers first unit still hasn't yielded a TD yet?


• If Romeo Crennel is not on the hot seat yet, he will be after another pitiful coaching job like Sunday night.
  
• Is the PSU offense this lethal, or has the schedule been this pitiful?


• The Bucs go unnoticed in bringing down elusive win #63, once again guaranteeing a sub 100 loss season.

The Gold (and Black) Edition

Happy times are here again

Wow, PittsburghFan turning 50. What a year of milestones this has been: my 40th birthday, my 20th anniversary with the Army, and now my 50th post. I figured that there is no better way of ringing in this achievement than by chronicling the impressive ass whoop that Steeltown laid on the Texans yesterday. Make no mistake, Sunday's game definitely proved who is not the best NFL team in Texas. The Steelers pummeled the Texans with their typical early September rudeness, running their record to 6-0 in the last six openers.

The glorious day started around 9:15 am when I, and the PF road crew hit the tailgating lot. Oh, for the record, Green 22 is the best kept secret in town on a game day.

T Bone and Slugger...sadly, I think they're still sober

the crew and friends enjoying some tail gate

ON TO THE GAME!

and we're underway!

completely blowing up the running lanes

now that's $7 million well spent!

Starks explains to Mean Joe why he makes more this season that Greene did for his entire Hall of Fame career

Stapleton either plans on punting or he is expecting a side career as a Nazi re-enacter. Neither endeavor appears lucrative...

another long day in the books for the unselfish and hardworking crew at PittsburghFan

I'm Back...Again

I vow to never, ever, ever take off four months again. I must apologize for the extended hiatus, but this summer has had its share of distractions, but I am re-focused and back on the beat.

So where were we? Oh yeah, the Steelers. Now that Indian summer is in the air, the brats are back to school, and the summer patio furniture is soon to be hauled to the shed (or to the curb for you Levittown readers), us men must once again turn our attention to that single most important item on life's agenda: THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE.

Let's face it, after the heart wrenching defeat in the NHL finals, and after enduring about three quarters of the Pirates' latest abortion, us suburban carnivores deserve a little TLC in our collective sports psyche. Let's hope the boys of Steeltown deliver.

So anyway, the blog is back for another year. This year I promise more in depth coverage, better graphics...well, actually just graphics, celebrity interviews, more candid (profane) commentary, and of course, an occasional large bosom or two. Speaking of large bosoms, I just sat in my new rock star seats in section 133, and let's just say that the Steeler chicks were out that night. But don't take my word for it, check out the pictures below...

damn, do I love the Black and Gold

UPCOMING: PITTSBURGH FAN Gold Edition Posting (aka 50th entry)

Steelers Clarify Domestic Abuse Policy

The Pittsburgh Steelers made perfectly clear their position and policy towards players who are involved in domestic abuse cases: if you are going to bitch slap your woman, you had better be a Pro Bowler.

It's a rare day that this blog will take pot shots at Chairman Dan Rooney, but his explanation yesterday on why the team released reserve wide out Cedric Wilson, while retaining Pro Bowl linebacker James Harrison, was pitiful (at best). This flimsy and transparent attempt to mask a blatant double standard is already reverberating throughout the national media scene. I can only liken Rooney's cardboard explanation to that of that fat, gay politician that was playing footsie in the airport bathroom, only to explain it away as his typical pooping protocol.

Harrison's public outreach and easy going nature were the factors that prompted Rooney to not take action

Call this what it is. If Wilson had been coming off a 1,000 yard receiving season, or if Harrison was still battling to earn a starting job, the players' fates would have been the same. As much as I love the play of Jimmy Harrison, and as neutral as I am to Wilson's performances, this is a sad day for an organization and family that has stood for fairness and decency for a long time. The Steelers are clocking their bitches at a rate that would even make Ike Turner proud. When you add these two events to the Santonio Holmes domestic violence charges of 2006, you can bet that the Men of Steel will now garner every wife beating nickname and moniker available.