I had just told MP that the Pens are undefeated (2-0) in playoff games this year that I didn't watch. His response was for me to miss more games. Well, on Saturday night, as the game was deadlocked at 1-1 and my fingernail lengths getting desperately low, I started channeling my remote, seeking a suitable distraction. Being a Verizon FiOS subscriber, I get about 600 movie channels, basically enough choices to view every mediocre movie ever made at any moment. Ask any FiOS customer how many Brendan Fraser movies they've seen...the list is endless. You need Stephen Seagal fucking up a small legion of Asian mobsters with cool 80's hairdos at 4:00 am on a Tuesday? FiOS has that, both in high definition and old school digital. Of course, one can always turn his focus towards the selections that cost $14.99 and require proof of age, but once again, that is a conversation for a different audience. Well, anyway, I stumbled upon Fred Claus, and started toggling between this B movie and the game. Alas, every time I was on Fred Claus, the Pens scored. Every time I was locked into the game, Alex Ovechkin scored (he is the only Capital that scores, right?). This would continue into overtime, and just when Fred was about to save the world from the abyss of a cancelled Christmas, Geno Malkin equalled the heroism by delivering a gift of his own...a victory. Needless to say, my assistant will be making the trip to Blockbuster Video today, for the purchase of one copy of Fred Claus (previously viewed, I hope). 
The ornery Vaughn is my #1 Star for Saturday Night
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