At the age of 8, Smith is clearly the youngest Pirate prospect ever.Smith was a stand out in his two years of tee-ball, hitting a whopping .665 last season. Smith struggled in his first year of midget league, however, as his average dipped to .406. Additionally, Smith missed the Midget League All Stars this year. Team officials quickly added that the absence was not based on performance, but a mere priorities issue, as the game coincided with the release of the latest Harry Potter movie.
The customary cynics were out in full force this afternoon, questioning GM David Littlefield's decision to trade for a prospect with such little experience. "No worries", said Littlefield, as he polished his Zach Duke bobblehead, "this kid is all upside. Did you know that he hit a ball over 100 feet in junior tee last year? Actually, I didn't either, I just read it on the back of his baseball card a few minutes ago. It also said that he likes fishing and Rita's water ice!"
Like most Pirate deals, payroll trimming will be a big factor. Smith's agent, a 13 year old named Mikey, explains that the Bucs will pay Smith about $20 a week, plus throw in a signing bonus of 200 Poki Mon cards. The Bucs are also on the hook for Smith's snack requirement, which is generally oreos and a juice box in the 4th and 7th innings. Both sides are still negotiating Smith's involvement in night games, as his bed time is set at 9:00 pm until he turns 11. An unrelated rumor suggests that the veteran sell off has just begun. Sources say that the front office is contemplating trading Jason Bay for the angry Asian man pictured below, simply because he reminds them of "that Chinese guy from Sixteen Candles".
Automobile????
6 comments:
Dong, where is my shortstop??????
Good thing the owners don't read blogs. I would not want Nutting to have that idea. We'd have a team of toddlers by the trade deadline.
Hey front office ... no more yankee my wankee. I was teased with greatness as a youth during the reign of the Outfield of Dreams. Now I am left with an organization that lacks anything resembling a cohesive vision due in part to the "guidance" by the ownership group. Each season they take great pleasure in violating their fans in the most egregious manner ... by not even attempting to be competitive in what many call the NL "Comedy" Central. Ugh. I love the Buccos, but these constant mid-season maneuvers make it even harder to devote oneself to this team. At this point, my love is for the Buccos of the past ... for Clemente, Mazeroski, & Stargell.
The Donger! Priceless!!!
Tonight I break my vow of not commenting on my own site. When blog royalty like Double Dumb Ass comes a-calling, you need to break out the big guns.
Very insightful feedback, JV. Thought you might enjoy the Donger reference. Let's not forget some of the other all stars that reported to the "Lumber Company": Dave Parker, Bill Madlock, Richie Zisk, Matty Alou, Manny Sanguillen, Al Oliver, the Waner Bros., Ralph Kiner, Honus Wagner (to go real old school) It's not like we haven't had about 90 years of hitters.
The donnger!!
Post a Comment