The House Cleaning Continues

As Wall Street anxiously awaits third quarter employment figures, Metropolitan Pittsburgh just witnessed their jobless numbers sky rocket by another half dozen. In another move that pronounces the utter disgust with the Battlins' perennial calamity, manager Jim Tracy and a host of operations guys have been shown to the door today. Along with the skipper, the axe fell on Brian Graham (Director of Player Develop), Ed Creech (Scouting Director), and Jon Mercurio (Director of Baseball Operations). The cuts ran deep, and the street rumors were that even Silvia, Head of Administration/Office Skank, was getting the boot. These rumors were greatly over reported, however, and Silvia is safe for another year.

Silvia's improved work ethic and renewed enthusiasm saved her job, sources say

When you factor out summertime casualties Kevin McClatchy and David Littleclue, there are few remaining survivors from the brain trust that has (mis)guided our beloved club to the mecca that we like to call 6th Place. It sort of reminds me of that segment in Goodfellas when DeNiro is clipping all of his guys that were part of the big heist. (If you didn't see the movie, disregard the reference.)

ousted skipper Tracy and GM Littlefield discuss the carpool arrangements to the Unemployment Office

So where does this leave us? New GM Neal Huntington seems like the man with a plan, although that plan appears to be a complete purge. Numerous times in his short employment with the Pirates, he has used the phrase 'culture of winning'. For a team that is almost 300 games under .500 over the last 15 years, it's going to take a boat load of firings to get that culture. Insiders have overheard the young GM stating that even the PNC beer vendors aren't safe right now. One can only imagine that these cuts are eventually going to find their way to the locker room, as Jason Bay has already predicted.

Dylan wrote "These Times, They are a-changin' "...Ron Burgundy never heard that song...

Steelers 2, Lake Erie 0

Wow, what an explosive start to the 2007 campaign. Drubbing our Great Lakes brethren by a combined score of 60-10. Makes you wish we had Detroit and Chicago on this year's schedule. Ok, now for all of you that projected us at 8 or 9 wins (you know who you are), well, let's just hope that you were conservative. For the record, I'm usually on the optimistic side with projections...I said 11 or 12 wins, and I'm going to stick with that. Right now, this team has shown me nothing to rescind that.

Here are some of my quick hitters thru Week Two:

• Willie P starting to look like the complete package. The last two seasons he has dazzled us all with his ability to outrun folks. Now, we can sit back and watch one of the truly great NFL stories unfold. Watch Fast Willie's continual development into one of the NFLs elite backs. He still needs to protect the ball better.


• All the doom and gloomers that sold their PSLs the day after The Chin resigned can buy them back on EBay. They go for about $25,000 for a pair up in section 532.


• Oh, yeah, wait a minute...Dan Rooney does know a thing or two about hiring coaches. It's early, but Tomlin has been impressive.


• Mike Mularkey, Kent Whisenhunt, and Bruce Arians...would the real offensive genius please stand up??? When chicanery king Mularkey left us for Buffalo we all cried in our I.C. Lite. Then the cerebral Whiz came along and proved to be the perfect mentor for a young Ben. Now, the forward thinking Arians is looking like the guru properly suited for this emerging offense.


• Are people still questioning Big Ben? This gets old. Maybe I just don't get it. This guy does nothing other than move his offense and win games, and the geniuses still want to question his abilities and decision making. Chew on this...take the first half nightmare of 2006 away, and Big Ben has won 35 out of 41 games as an NFL starter (including playoffs) with a Super Bowl. Better career passing rating than McNabb and Favre, and less than a point lower than superstud Tom Brady (without his video guy). Yeah, you're right, Eskin, he's overrated...the Philly sports world would take Ben in a freakin' heartbeat. (Actually, after watching last night's game, I think the Birds would take Brian St. Pierre if he was available!)


• So maybe the 2007 draft was not the abortion that many nay sayers claimed. Matt Spaeth and Lamar Woodley look like players. Timmons is going to be there, and this punter has been brilliant. Oh, yeah, there's this guy named Kevin Colbert who has had a few decent drafts.

Now drop the other shoe. It's mid September and we've played two cupcakes. In fact, I think the Buffalo Bulls gave Penn State a bigger struggle than the Buffalo Bills put up in Steeltown. But mark my words on this, think of 2001 and 2004 - two seasons that no one expected anything from us. We won at least 13 games in both seasons...let's hope I'm right on this.

I'm Back

Well, did you miss me? I know it's been almost a month, but I am back with new batteries and a new lease on sports life. Now, where was I? Ok, good question...

Besides defending your freedom in my continual involvement with the US Army, I also took a much needed R and R break in Western PA, relaxing and retooling. I will quickly admit that the break was a working vacation, as I communed with numerous black and gold enthusiasts, and discussed the state of affairs with our beloved teams. With that being said, I bet you all expect a big comeback post, focused on the Tomlin era and the resurgence of our Steelers, right? WRONG!!!!! I am going to talk about the Pirates.

Ok, I get it, it's mid September, and the Buccos are in their habitual fifth place position, so it's football season, right? Well, yeah, but I have some new Bucco thoughts, and I need to share them. Consider this my "2007 Year in Review/2008 Year in Preview"

Right now, the Battlins' are 66-81, and I'm guessing, en route to a 74-88 finish. Certainly better than last season, but well off the 84-78 that ESPN projected for them in March. Of course it also equals 15 straight losing seasons, and just one off the MLB record.

With a CEO on board and a new GM on the way, it's safe to say that some additional changes are also forthcoming. I will proffer to you that this team DOESN'T need that much tinkering this winter. Yep, call me the tainted cool aid guy, but I am telling you, stop the nay saying, and listen to me.

With a developing rotation, a nice core of hitters, and an emerging closer, the current team has some significant upsides. This team can finally break the 81 win mark, if not be a legitimate contender in '08, with a few key personnel decisions, and a few winks from Lady Fortune.

So let me start at the beginning, and explain to you what went wrong:


2007 Synopsis

WHAT WENT WRONG:

1. Inconsistency in the starting rotation. I'm going to throw this out there...this is the best overall starting pitching that we've had in over 10 years. But sadly, it was terribly inconsistent. Start off with newly acquired Tony Armas, and his dreadful start. Then you had Paul Maholm's shakiness in May and early June, and then Zach Duke becoming the most hospitable pitcher in the majors before the front office finally shut him down. That only leaves us with Gorzo and Snell, and since Snell has been very shaky over the last six weeks, the summation is that Gorzo has been the only consistent pitcher all year.


2. Sluggish starts from Adam LaRoche and Freddy Sanchez. Hey Jason Bay fans - here's a news flash, the heart of the order this year has been Sanchez and LaRoche. The problem here is that both of these guys really limped out the gate and were languishing around .200 in early May. These slow starts prevented any form of offensive rhythm in the first third of the season, which when coupled with inconsistent starting pitching, spells losses.

WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN:

1. Get Zach Duke Back. Duke's collapse in 2007 was probably the single biggest factor in our most current debacle. The numbers are truly horrific,and this one speaks loudest: 17 starts, 6 quality starts. Sticking with him as long as we did only worsened things for both Duke and the team. We need Duke to return to his 2006 form. It's probably safe to say that the rookie season was an anomoly, and that Zach will never be that Sandy Koufax, Jr, but he can be a good inning chewer with a low 4's era and a dozen wins or so. Basically a good middle rotation guy.


2. Continue the development of some young hitters. Remember when I said Nate McLouth should be delivering pizza? God, did he make me look dumb. Nate's secong half offense has been a key component in the winning record that we've boasted since Aug 1. I really like him as a leadoff or number 2 guy, with true 25/25 type ability. His defensive range doesn't hurt either, in spacious PNC. Steve Pearce and Ryan Doumit are two other guys that I expect a lot out of in 2008. We all saw what Doumit did this year, prior to his injury, and Pearce was clearly promoted to be a starter. I see him as an opening day outfielder in 2008. Nyler Morgan has been a nice addition, showing speed on the bases and in the carvernous center field at PNC. His lack of power will probably relagate him to the 4th outfielder/pinch runner kinda guy, but he should still see plenty of opportunities to contribute.


3. Make the Right Moves. Generally speaking, under David Littlefield, the Bucs made only two types of trades: 1) trading a quality starter for a prospect(s) in order to prevent a loss thru free agency. 2) trading a journeyman or prospect for another journeyman or prospect....aka "junk for junk". Now, even the fat girl gets laid, so we had lucked into some steals with this method (Sanchez). My point here is that we have been afraid to think outside the box with a trade. We have been afraid to even remotely consider trading a blue chipper that is under contract, fearing that we just don't get these guys that often. Look at the outfield situation, for example. With Bay, Nady, McLouth, and Pearce, we have 4 guys that should be considered starters. Add in Morgan and Bautista's ability to play in the outfield, and you can say that we have an overage here. Perhaps we should maybe consider trading one of these guys to help bring in another arm. Historically speaking, if the choice came down to Bay or Nady, Littlefield would have moved Nady, a journeyman who is going to bring you journeyman or prospect talent in return. Why not consider trading Bay?

MY RECOMMENDED 2008 TEAM:

1. CF McLouth


2. 3B Bautista


3. 2B Sanchez


4. 1B LaRoche


5. LF Pearce


6. RF Doumit


7. C Paulino


8. SS Wilson

SP: Gorzo, BLUE CHIPPER ACQUIRED VIA TRADE, Maholm, Duke, Bullington

Bench: Phelps, Nady, Morgan, Izcuris, Bixtler

TRADE THAT I WOULD MAKE: Package Bay and any starter other than Gorzo or Maholm for a bona fide blue chipper. There are teams in both leagues that would give up an all star quality pitcher for a guy like Bay, if we can throw in the arm. Snell gives the most upside, and I truly think that a Bay/Snell package could be very attractive for some teams. This trade might become a necessity if we get find no takers for overpriced Matt Morris.

PLAYES PROBABLY GONE: Armas, Castillo, Morris (hopefully)

1st Annual "SHUT THE F UP" voting

As a reader/writer/believer of this blog, you must subscribe to three universal truths:

1. The Steelers basically rule the football world

2. Large breasts are generally considered preferrable to small breasts (see below)



...and...

3. NFL commentators/analysts are a real pain in the ass

The NFL (and Steeler Nation) climbed out of hibernation Sunday Night with the Hall of Fame game. I didn't even have my first Lager opened before resident jackass, Chris Collinsworth, was annoying the shit out of me. Then I thought, who really is the most annoying NFL media guy?

Today I bring you the first ever "Shut the F Up" contest, a poll dedicated to finding the most hated of all the buffoons of the booth.

Honestly, I really find it shameful to watch six grown men in suits sitting around a counter and arguing about the game of football as if they were negotiating a major war spending bill. Hey Jimmy and Terry, it's not stem cell research, it's football. These guys have turned the NFL into a science, and frankly, these scientists are wrong more times than not. Flat out, the NFL Today type shows are my least favorite part of a Sunday.



You decide



I don't want to hog the list, but here are my TOP 5 Buffoons of the Booth

5. Deion Sanders - this guy sucks, flat out. The only thing more hideous than his suits are his comments.


Deion denied Jimmy Johnson's allegations that his suit was once a couch cover


4. Tom Jackson - they revere this moron like he's Gandhi. I'm pretty sure I'm done listening to TJ drop into low register and give that fatherly speach.

3. Shannon/Sterling Sharpe - I know this is probably starting to smell a bit racist, but it's not. Again, these guys are idiots. I did enjoy when EPN sat Sterling over in that little dunce table. Both of these numbskulls strengthen the theory 'good player make lousy analyst'.

2. Paul Maguire. Enough already. This guy annoyed me before he got fired from Sunday Night Football, now he just makes me sick. I always loved how Maquire would praise a play that didn't work. Truly a work of art.

1. Michael Irvin. Now I understand why the Eagles fans cheered when they thought he was paralyzed. If only his mouth could be paralyzed.

Please send me your lists of whom you want to see get the proverbial duct tape over the mouth...

Rebirth

Thank you Mike Tomlin and the Pittsburgh Steelers, for restoring a little dignity to the latest summer of shame. Since our only noteworthy sports highlights this month were Matt Morris's home run trot and Paul Maholm's boastings of challenging Barry Bonds, last night's Hall of Fame game was a true elixer. Let the truth be told, the date was August 5th, but this game was far from meaningless. In addition to giving the Black and Gold Nation something to finally smile about, Mr. Tomlin and Co. also answered some already stirring questions:

Will the LeBeau/Tomlin thing work?

Will Bruce Arians know what the hell he is doing and will he make us forget the Whiz?

Will Ced Wilson continue to clammer about no passes in his direction?

Will Willie Reid actually see enough plays to justify all the medical expenses?

Will Lamar Woodley be the next overnight linebacking sensation (ala Kendrell Bell 2001)?

Will one of the reserve running backs lay claim to the number 2 job?

Will Alan Faneca finally run out of things to bitch about?

Of course, one can throw all these answers in the Allegheny, and simply ask the one single question that seriously impacts all of our lives...How will Ben Roethlisberger look?

Without restating facts that you all know by now,...most of these answers, although preliminary, were quite favorable. Now, after watching the game, I'd also like to add some comments and questions of my own:

-Does Michael Irvin actually expect America to believe this good guy turned bad guy turned guy good crap? Can he now just shut up?

sadly, the Hall of Fame chose not to use these mug shots for his enshrinement display

-Obviously the NFL Network still hasn't learned how to broadcast a football game. After a 20 yard side line pass, most of the viewers would prefer to see the replay, but instead we get treated to a split screen of Chris Collinsworth conjuring yet another story of 1981.

-Max Starks continues to be very selective on just who he will block.

-William Gay looked quite hetero with a vicious man hit on rookie wideout Robert Meachem. Meachem looked a little gay on his own by ducking on the next play.

-Carey Davis (...who???) looking a lot like Sid "The Bull" Thorton as he ran roughshod over hapless New Orleans defenders. This, of course, prompted the cerebral Collinsworth to dub him "Bettis Jr." Collinsworth then recited another Bengals story from the early 80's.

-Oh yeah, Big Ben looked like Big Ben.

The Genius of Littlefield

Pirate GM David Littlefield is vindicated, if for just one day. Last night, against the Cincy Reds, newly acquired journeyman pitcher Matt Morris revealed a small portion of the Littlefield mastermind. When Morris clocked a homer on his first at bat as a Pirate, the world saw the true genius of David Littlefiled, and the confounding deal started making more sense.

"This is what we had hoped for", boasted Littlefield as he signed a requisition form for 25,000 Matt Morris bobbleheads. "I figured, our hitters can't hit, and our pitchers can't pitch, so maybe we need to get pitchers who can hit". "This could be the start of something really big, or it may backfire, like most of our other plans, it's just too early to tell."


I will keep you posted on this newest saga.


Morris was acquired for his offensive skills

Quick Hitters:

• Is it just me, or do all the Pirate homers now come from Sanchez and Paulino?


• Matt Capps getting rocked hard last night.


• Steeler season officially opens tonight in Canton, OH!

SILVER EDITION

Copycatting yet another move by my buddies at Dumbass, I would like to spend a moment and chest beat a bit about my 25th career post! Now, by virtue of my handy dandy Casio calculator, I figured this: 25 posts x 1.5 hours (the average length to write a post) = 37.5 hours in post writing. Add in the 2 hours to give this puppy it's fancy look, and the 10 hours I have spent listening to Toney harp on about how shitty the blog is, ...I think I have invested about 50 hours into this pursuit. That's 50 less hours of self bettering activities like working out, learning Hebrew, origami, or just surfing porn.

To honor my silver post, I wanted to make a list of my favorite 25's, in terms of Western PA sports...

8. Ron Shanklin. Before there was Swann, before there was Stallworth,...there was Shanklin. I put Shank on my list because he was the guy who was in like every third pack of football cards. I couldn't get a single Franco but I had 7 Shanklins and 9 Gerry Mullins cards. Oh, he also made the Pro Bowl in 1973.

the Shanklin card is the story of my life

7. Adam LaRoche. I love this guy because of the controversy he adds to everyday life. People are so furious with the top brass because of him, yet they were equally pissed when we were stymied on our first attempt to get him. Mark these words, he's going to put up some numbers...someday.

6. Bruce Kison. Great Bucco. One of the key pitchers on the 70's teams. Pitched for both the '71 and '79 WS teams. A 1.98 post season ERA, although he did get shellacked in his one start in the '79 WS. Questionable durability, however, and a bit whiny. Oh, for those that underscore Kison's importance in 1979: the Buccos were 10-1 in his last 11 starts.


Kison lost points for the "gay porn star" look in this photo

5. Fred McAfee. A poster child for the depth of the 90's Cowher rosters. Top notch special teamer. A little more size and I bet this guy has a Pro bowl or two as a featured back somewhere.

Special teams warrior

4. Bobby Bonilla. This is strictly for the Double Dumb Ass guys. I was never a big fan of BoNegro. You can't argue his numbers, though. I will always remember, with great fondness, when the newly rich Bobby Boo (as a Met) had to wear ear plugs to drown out the din of hatred.

Bobby Bo was devastated when he learned that Bonds will beat him to 756 homers.

3. Pittsburgh Pirates circa 1925. This team kicked ass. The '25 Bucs led the league in batting, homers, doubles, triples, runs, and even ATTENDANCE! This was a championship team led by Hall of Famers Pie Traynor and Kiki Cuyler. God, what a difference 82 years makes. This team also had some bizarre names. In addition to Pie and Kiki, they had a Babe, Mule, Red, Emil, Clyde, Fresco, and Stuffy. Stuffy???

2. Curt Warner. Ok, not Black and Gold, but I am a PSU grad, and this guy rocked. Arguably the best tailback ever produced in Happy Valley. Huge contributor to the 1982 Nat'l Championship team. Injuries cut this guy short, but he still had some monster years in the NFL. By the way, when you say the name Curt Warner in Central PA, no one thinks of the bearded journeyman quarterback.


this guy could flat out run

1. Kevin Stevens. Was there any doubt? This guy was the prototype power forward long before the Philly chicks went wet in the crotch for John LeClair. Stevens was the bullet that came out of Mario's gun, and a colossal part of the cup teams. Unfortunately, he joins a long list of tragic Pittsburgh sports figures. The major "breaking his face" injury, then more injuries, then the crack/hooker/stolen money debacle really closed out a one time brilliant career. I will always remember Stevens in his circa 1992 form, a real top notch forward. Oh, check out this youtube clip of Stevens and Trot calling out Brian Bellows. Whoever said hockey players were gentlemen?



eventually Stevens would trade goal scoring for crack and hookers.