The D Word

Disgusting, derisible, dreadful, disturbing, disastrous. All words that start with the letter D, and all words that can be definitively applied to the Pittsburgh Pirates baseball club over the last 17+ seasons. Oh, did I forget despicable? How about debacle? Doomed?

I think its high time we added delusional to the docket, as team president Frank Coonelly recently used the most divine of all D words in conjunction with his doormat franchise. DYNASTY. Yep, dynasty! This type of delirious depiction dictated from an organization's director is nothing short of dereliction of duty. Certainly, Coonelly, the distinguished dean of Pirate baseball has witnessed the downfall displayed by his organization over the last duo of decades. So, what, pray tell, has Coonelly discovered to deliver this dumbfounding devotion? Who knows, perhaps its his way of deliberately deceiving the demos. Maybe he's on drugs, or perhaps he's been drinking too much Dewar's or Drambuie. Although I can't yet board Coonelly's dray destined for deliverance, I will not demur, as I am decisively determined to stand by my declaration that this season will be one of distinction. As the drama delicately disentangles...

QUICK HITTERS (Sans D words):

• The Pedro Alvarez buzz continues to amplify. The likelihood of seeing Alvarez as a regular on the parent team by July 1 is becoming greater by the day.
• Neat SI article on potential staff ace Ross Ohlendorf. Of course, if recent Pirate history with up and coming aces serves correctly, Ohlendorf will either struggle in 2010, or battle injuries, or most likely, both.
• Wild card Bucco alert: Jose Tabata. Behind Alvarez, Tabata is the best Bucco hitting prospect, and like Alvarez, could be playing alongside Andrew McCutchen soon.
• The closer situation is currently the Bucs' biggest concern. Just read the tagline written by the sponsor of incoming reliever Octavio Dotel's baseball-reference.com page. "Worst closer of all time." An actual committee formed to impeach a relief pitcher??? Wow! Let's hope that Dotel does not make my next drove of D words!