Fifteen for Fifteen

Today's post is dedicated to my friends at Double Dumbass who recently inspired me to analyze the Pirates inept personnel management skills over the recent years. After some fairly intensive research, and a lot of beer, I was able to compile a list of about two dozen intriguing moves (or non-moves in some cases) during the 15 year tailspin following the 1992 NLCS. I pared that list down to my top 15. Careful when reading this, as your emotions will range from amusement to bewilderment to complete and utter disgust. In seriousness, this list illustrates what my friend pointed out in his article...this team has no frigging clue how to maintain any stream of talent.

15. Tony Armas - I put A.A., Jr at the bottom of this list, because I really don't have a major problem with him, as most Pittsburgh media does. The 2007 acquisition of Armas typifies a tactic that the Pirate front office employs on a yearly basis, with generally less than favorable results. To understand this tactic, one most simply remember the acronym STIFF, short for Second Tier Investment For Free agents. Basically, STIFF represents the annually acquired journeyman player that the Bucs tout as a big investment, but is generally regarded in every other city as a role player, a cast off, or a STIFF. You will see a lot of these players on this list, and although they were generally obtained for much less cash than the front line guys get, they almost always result in a waste of money. I believe that some folks refer to this practice as "penny wise, dollar foolish." This off season the Bucs knew they needed a solid veteran arm to compliment the quartet of quality young starters. So, instead of spending the 7 to 8 million on that decent middle of the rotation guy, the PNC Park penny pinchers spent a whopping 3 million on Armas, who showed the ample return on investment by winning 4 games and posting an era of over 6. In typically Pirate ironic fashion, Armas did log 3 straight quality starts down the stretch, which the front office rewarded by sending Armas back to the bull pen. Armas' club option will not be exercised, thus closing this chapter as a 3 million investment netting 4 wins.

14. Barry Bonds. Ok, before the purists call for my immediate banishment from BlogLand, let me finish my thought. By the spring of 1992, we all knew that Barry was heading to the west coast, but my question here is why didn't the team make an all out effort to re-structure him into a long term deal after the 1990 MVP season, before he was free agency eligible. The net result here is that the Pirates let arguably the greatest player since Ted Williams slip out of town without a fight.

13. Cesar Izturis. This one really pissed me off. I think the only acceptable logic here was that this acquisition was to prep us for the trading of Jack Wilson. Since the team had already conceded any attempt to strive for 82 wins, one can only ask why prospect Brian Bixler was not the choice here. Oh, Wilson was never traded, in fact he was the hottest hitter in the majors for the final six weeks of the season, so for the most part, Cesar got paid the prorated portion of 3.2 million to sit next to Jim Tracy and re-live the fond memories of their Dodger days.

12. Matt Lawton. In November of 2004, the always frugal Buccos decided that they needed to trade Arthur Rhodes for Lawton and his 8 million dollar paycheck. Obviously, they felt that this 33 year old outfielder with the .267 career BA would be a cornerstone in the most current re-building process. Lawton was traded 7 months later for Jody Gerut, a man would only tally 4 more hits in entire career. Now that's 8 million dollars well spent.

11. and 10. Joe Randa, Episodes 1 and 2. This one takes some setting up, but you're going to love it.

EPISODE 1: The story begins in the winter of 1996, as the Bucs acquire a young third baseman named Joe Randa from the Royals in a multi player deal involving Jeff King. Randa earns the starting job on the '97 team, and leads the Battlins' with a .302 batting average while wielding a decent glove, and most importantly, only costing the team a meager $220,000. Now that's the kind of player the Pirates covet, right? WRONG! The Pirates reward Mr. Randa by leaving him unprotected in the expansion draft, losing him to the Arizona Diamondbacks. The Diamondbacks immediately trade Randa to Detroit for 5 time all star, Travis Fryman. Meanwhile, Randa eventually migrates back to the AL, where he logs 8 decent seasons as a starter, averaging around .290 over that time frame. And who was the Bucs' opening day third baseman in 1998, you ask? Doug Strange and his .173 BA. Yes, Strange indeed.

We aren't done yet, it gets better...

EPISODE 2: In the winter of 2005, the Pirate management group, now realizing the error in their ways, decide to make amends with Randa and re-acquire him at age 36 for 4 million, or to put it in perspective, around 20 times what he made in '97. Randa struggled with injuries and eventually lost his starting job to Freddy Sanchez during his incredible break out season. Ironically, and in typical Pirate bone headed fashion, GM David Littlefield maintained that although Sanchez was hitting .360 in late May, and playing centerstage in the best baseball story in Pittsburgh in years, the starting job would go back to Randa when he was healthy. Only after several hundred death threats, did Littlefield go mute on the re-instate Randa campaign. The Pirates would get 28 RBI's from Randa in exchange for that 4 million. Mind numbing...

9. Jose Hernandez, part 2. Remember this name, you will hear it again. Hernandez was brought back to the North Shore in 2006, because I think the front office just couldn't find a shittier way to drop $850,000. Don't take my word for it, check out his career stats. We're talking 200 more strikeouts than hits. Think Dave Kingman, without the power. Really? Was there no one else out there???

8. Derek Bell. Ah yes, Mr. Operation Shutdown himself. Bell defies rational thought. I think he was the poster child for greedy immature sports figures, until he became the poster child for felonious, prison bound sports figures. Once again, the Bucs were so intent on getting the STIFF, that they disregarded any homework in terms of analysis. Sources say that any background search would have revealed that Bell was an arrogant, unsavory bum with diminishing skills. Well done, guys, another 5 million down the Allegheny.

7. Chris Corn. Who??? Ok, in 1996, the Pirates selected Charlie Hayes to be their STIFF of the year. The front office plunked down 1.8 million on Hayes, which is on par for Pirate spending, since most free agent corner infielders were had for about 7 million a season in the mid '90s. Hayes threw up marginal numbers, prompting the Bucs to trade him in August, for a prospect. The prospect was a young arm in the Yankees system named Chris Corn. Corn was just coming off of a 12-4 season with the Tampa Yankees, and was generally regarded as a decent prospect. The Bucs, being the Bucs, try to convert Corn to a relief pitcher with disastrous results. He was out of baseball within 5 years. At last check, Corn was an assistant manager of a drywall supplier in Delhi, Ohio. Charlie Hayes shines his 1996 World Series ring every Sunday morning. Another great story in Pirate baseball...

6. Tony Womack. In 1999, Womack was coming off of his second straight season with at least 175 hits and 50 stolen bases. Publicly, the Pirates expressed concerns for his fielding, privately they fretted over another escalating salary. The Diamondbacks came a-callin' and swept Tony away for young pitcher Jason Boyd and prospect Paul Weichard. Boyd would make 12 relief appearances for the rest of his career. Weichard never saw the majors. Womack would go on to score over 90 runs 4 out of the next 6 seasons, and help the D'Backs win the 2001 World Series. Another great trade.

5. Jason Schmidt. This is another one that should just piss you off. The Bucs had a true ace in Schmidt, but as the re-building concept says, he had to go. Littlefield sent him off to the Bay area in exchange for Armando Rios and Ryan Vogelsong. Schmidt would go on to become a dominant starter, earning 3 trips to the All Star game. Rios would whack 3 more homers (for his career) and Vogelsong would join the overly crowded stable of young and mediocre Pirate pitchers. At last count, Vogelsong was languishing with a 10-22 career record. Move over, Sandy Koufax...

4. Matt Morris. I think we will be recalling this one as the David Littlefield thumb up our collective asses for years to come. Why in God's name would a last place team trade for an aging, overpriced, high mileage STIFF, like Morris, at the trade deadline? Did Littlefield feel like we still owed the Giants something after gift wrapping Jason Schmidt 4 years earlier? This boggles my mind. The saddest thing to consider is that Littlefield may have actually believed that this trade was going to save his job. Time will only tell, but I can't imagine how Morris will come close to earning the 9 million we are committed to for next year. More sound investing.

3. Jeromy Burnitz. David Littlefield need only read Burnitz's 2006 bio to remind himself of why people like me ridicule him in writing. We spent 6 million on this bum, and we in return we got 49 RBIs, a .230 BA, and a completely shit head attitude. This 6 million coupled with Joe Randa's 4 million could have been used on a quality starter or outfielder. No, we can't think that way in Pittsburgh.

2. Pat Meares. Good ole' Pat Meares...one of the biggest assholes to ever don the Black and Gold. We dropped about 14.5 million on a guy who saw 240 total games over 3 seasons. Check his stats, this guy was never anything above average. Oh, and Meares is just another guy on this list whose last career stop was the 'Burgh. Any correlation here?

...and finally...

1. Aramis Ramirez. Yep, the deal that topped all Pirate deals. In the summer of '03 the Bucs offered the Cubbies a 25 year old emerging slugger/third baseman for The Unsinkable Jose Hernandez (see # 9), Bobby Hill, a minor leaguer, and a $25 voucher from the Al Capone gift shop . When the Cubs balked, we threw in Kenny Lofton for good measure. It goes to show you, there really is no measure to what some teams would part with to acquire Jose Hernandez.