3 Blunts + 1 Holding - 1 Snapper = Loss

Midway through the five hour drive home from the 'Burgh following Sunday's stinging loss to the New York Football Giants, only one thought streamed through my oddly sober mind..."just what might the outcome had been had Santonio Holmes reconsidered his fateful decision to parade around town with weed in his car?" Well, like the Tootsie Roll Pop commercial tells us, the world may never know. Before I jump on the bandwagon of bloggers that have vilified Holmes and his ride on the Pineapple Express, let's remember that we probably wouldn't be making these points had Holmes been injured and not in Coach Tomlin's dog house. In other words, it's very convenient to instantly say that Holmes lost the game for us because he was a bonehead. Ok, maybe so or maybe not.

The reality here is that the team squared off against the world champs without Holmes and Willie Parker (their top two offensive playmakers), as well as their starting left tackle and a very good coverage guy in Bryan McFadden. Then they lost their free safety at a point when the Giants were relying heavily on the aerial attack. If this wasn't enough to set the drama, the team also lost their long snapper, which led to the disastrous experiment of hired killer James Harrison hiking a punt in a critical juncture of the contest, with the game clearly hanging in the balance. For those readers that were spared the agony of viewing that spectacle, let me summarize it this way: long snapping is now added to the list of things that you would rather not see James Harrison do, along with things like dating your teenage daughter, grooming your cat, or re-decorating your foyer with soft pastels and a subtle new age theme.

the ambitious Harrison would also audition for emergency QB and team owner

Casting aside all these hurdles with more ease than Santonio discards his roaches, the Steeltown boys would still have been on the W side of the scorecard if it had not been for poor execution at critical times. Costly penalties and turnovers took at least 10 points off the board, and were ultimately what separated the Steelers from what could have (and should have) been a gallant victory. The beleaguered O line put out yet another woeful exhibition, and Big Ben struggled mightily at adopting to a three step drop, thus holding the ball for what seemed to be an eternity. Hines Ward eventually got involved in the parade of errors by dropping yet another pass, widening his lead over AFC receivers in that category. The Giants seemed to be playing on a short field all afternoon, forcing the Black and Gold D to make numerous Herculian stands throughout the contest.

So, what's more to say? After a slew of critical injuries (and one dubious de-activation), and after a bevvy of miscues and bad breaks, the Steelers were still a few plays away from a big victory against a great team. Let's wait until next week's matchup with the 'Skins to form a conclusion about this team. If we are sitting at 6-2 next Tuesday morning, we can collectively throw the Giants game in the can. Or as Santonio might say, in the bowl.

A few quick hitters before I go drink beer:

• Is it just me, or does the Ben to Nate combo look like a legitimately scary deep threat?


• If anyone out there has a confirmed sighting of Matt Spaeth or Dallas Baker, please contact the PittsburgFan offices immediately.


• Ike Taylor quietly held another great receiver (Burress) in check.


• Watching Casey Hampton struggle to waddle his fat ass off the field after two consecutive plays is just plain sad.


• Mewelde Moore has over 300 yards rushing in the last three games. Not bad for your third stringer.


• Kudos to my sister-in-law's friend and her large, creamy gobs.
  
• Last and not least, a big shout out to my buddy J Cerv for coming out and having a great time! Hope to see you for a few more games, and congrats on the baby!
  
  Gods and tailgaters

Ben 11, Ohio 0

Professional sports matchups are all about the ownership. You know, the way Montana owned Elway, or the way Kelly owned Marino, the way Olajuwon owned Robinson, or how Jordan owned, well...everyone! We can now add another ownership tag to our list of completely one sided, landslide dominations: Big Ben owns Ohio. Yesterday's pasting of the hapless and rudderless Bungals, in the Queen City, pushed Large Benny's record in his home state to 11-0. Truly, that is a stat that should humiliate all Bengal and Brown fans. In the Bungals' defense, the Queen City looked like Heinz Field West yesterday, as the CBS cameramen managed to capture shot after shot of swirling yellow hankies. How embarrassing that must be...but don't take my word for, read the local Cincy beat writer's recap of the beat down.

Coach Lewis demonstrates his all too familiar grimmace of disgust

Depending on what AFC North team you root for, you will find Mr. Daugherty's commentary either amusing or disturbingly sickening. I found his "black and gold clad fans...shooting a middle finger at the Bengals fans" remark to be not only hilarious, but sadly telling of just how depressing this one-way relationship really is. Well, Cincy, cheer up, I think the Reds finished ahead of the Buccos yet again.

Some Quick Hitters:

• A telling stat: the Steelers are now 28-1 when Ben records a game rating of over 100.


• Mewelde Moore rushing for 220 yards in two games says something about the revamped offensive line, and more directly, the inventive playcalling of Bruce Arians.


• Polamalu sounds off about the softness of the league, and then leaves the game with a concussion caused by his own reckless, helmet to helmet impact.


• Say what you want about the recent drafts, second year men Timmons and Woodley have 10.5 sacks through 6 games.

He's Back

After a few lonely months without him, Pittsburgh is all a clamor over the return of the dreadlocked, laundry hamper pooping, baby mom slapping, stairmaster slippin' train wreck otherwise known as Najeh Davenport.

The Dump Truck pulled into the Burgh yesterday afternoon, just in time to be the newest misfit added to Coach Tomlin's backfield of bandaids. Sunday night's stable of runners should look like this: Najeh, the unflappable Mewelde Moore, Carey Davis (on one good ankle), Gary Russell (a step faster than Andy Russell, but less comical than Nipsey Russell), and of course, the plodding Penn Stater , Sean McHugh. Seriously, Franco and Rocky Bleier can rest assured that their lockers in the Great Hall are not in jeopardy.



only O.J. has seen more court dates than the beleaguered Davenport

The return of Davenport drove home Chairman Dan Rooney's time honored position on off field conduct...bad eggs are NOT welcome on the North Shore, unless, of course, there are enough injuries to starters, and then anything goes. This writer can only speculate how long it will be before Verron Hayes and his rubber checkbook are welcomed home.

Expect more big things from Mewelde Moore, who finally got into the action on Monday night. The lone back, red gun thing may be what the doctor ordered for this woeful line.


Moore getting his chin strap adjusted by linebacker and part time equipment manager, Larry Foote

Speaking of Monday night. A few game balls from my perspective: Big Ben for finally driving his foot up the offense's collective asses, the aforementioned Moore, the linebacking corps, San Holmes, and of course, the girls up in section 114.

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September always ushers in a fresh crop

Don't look now Dallas fans, but it appears that Jessica Simpson has changed her colors