That Was Myron Cope...on Sports

I was in Atlanta covering the Marian Hossa trade when I got the text message that Myron Cope had died. I was a bit numb, as I'm sure most of you were. For those that don't understand the Pittsburgh Steelers Nation, Mr. Cope was an annoying, fringe member of the second tier of American sports journalists. In other words, a household name in his local market, and fairly unrenowned and nameless elsewhere. Maybe a glorified version of the quirky Bill Curry that passed away a month earlier.

For those that are citizens of Steelers Nation, we knew Myron Cope as the spokesman for a generation. We all know that the Steelers did their whole 75th anniversary thing this year, but when we ground ourselves in reality, the true history of our Steelers dates from 1972-ish to the present. There is no voice more suitable to narrate that 35 year living highlight film than that of Myron Cope. No voice was more welcome at the outset of a stadium rocking play, and no voice summized chagrin better after a bone headed miscue. Hence the duality of a die hard fan...the enigma of love/hate.

The beauty of being a local sportscaster is that one can shed some of the required objectivity that national media members must hold. In other words, he or she can actually be a fan of the teams they cover. Myron Cope was a true Steeler fan, and through his passion for the team and the city, he became forever entwined in the lore of both.

Cope is as Black and Gold as those Terrible Towels that he popularized. He's as much of a part of the yinzer culture of the Burgh as a Primanti Bros sandwich or a steaming plate of pierogies in a tailgate lot outside the stadium. I would even go as far as to say that excluding players, the five most relevant figures in our Steelers history would be Dan Rooney, Art Rooney, Charles Noll, Bill Cowher, and Myron Cope. It may come as a stretch to some, but that's how shaping Cope was to Steeler culture.

Cope's naming of the "Immaculate Reception" was as prophetic as it was ingenious. That catch ushered in a new, unprecedented era of enlightenment, salvation, and eventually glory. Myron Cope has been, and will always be, the bantering soundtrack behind this glory. No true Steeler fan can go a single Sunday afternoon without uttering at least a couple Cope-isms...Yoi, The Bungles, Okel Dokel, Doube Yoi, Chaz "the Emperor" Noll,...the list goes on and on.

I had the fortune of meeting Mr. Cope twice. Both times in the same elevator at Allegheny General Hospital, sometime around 1990. He was visiting his ailing wife, and I was visiting my Dad, who was just recovering from open heart surgery. Although the surrounding circumstances were somber and less than ideal, it was a great privilege, nonetheless, to meet such a great and influential man. We will miss you, Myron. Rest in peace. Hopefully, right now, you, Mike Webster, and Art Rooney are enjoying some stogies, a few Iron City's, and reminiscing the 1978 Super Bowl team!

Pittsburgh says goodbye to a great man

Over Time Losses are not Like Kissing Your Sister

Two games, two losses, two points, huh? Welcome to the world of the "three point game", as the guys at Penguin Wire would say. The OTL is another New America way of saying no one's a loser, we're all just special. This is hogwash, a loss is a loss. The Pens are in all actuality, 9-8 since Crosby's injury. Not so bad if you consider you're still plus .500 without your best player, even more impressive when you consider that said best player is also the best player on the planet.

This site, as well as every other Pittsburgh blog has given beaceau props to Geno Malkin, but who are some of the other heroes...



Ty Conklin caught the red eye from Wilkes Barre and now leads the NHL in save percentage. Can anyone say pay raise?



Petr Sykora has added leadership, scoring, and another Eastern European misspelling of an easy name



AND OF COURSE




the picture says it all


For the record, kissing your sister is never a good idea, regardless of how early you started drinking that day....

Unless, of course, you're Brady Quinn

Are You Serious?

Mid February hasn't been the landing zone of sports doldrums in Western PA this year. The Pens are continuing to write a remarkable story, the Steelers have kept our interests with their upcoming draft and free agency strategies, the Pitt hoops teams have us talking (although more profanely these days), then there's the Terrelle Pryor lottery, and wait,...isn't there another team? Oh yeah, the guys down in Bradenton. The Post-Gazette ran a small article yesterday about this marathon pep talk/intervention that the collective brain trust bestowed upon the 65 man roster. For those that really have no desire to click on the link, I welcome the opportunity to translate it for you...

TRANSLATION OF THE PIRATE FRONT OFFICE PEP TALK: ...Guys, the Pittsburgh Pirates are a professional sports organization with legacy dating back well over 100 years. This team has a longstanding tradition of excellence, with championship banners hanging from our rafters, and granite busts adorning the halls of Cooperstown. You, however, are part of the fifteen years of afterbirth that has eroded the great name of this franchise, and transformed this once proud dynasty into the laughing stock that it is today...

FURTHER TRANSLATION (More simplified):...Guys, the Pirates are like that movie about the Titanic. You guys are like that part after they hit the ice berg...

Truly words of inspiration. To continue Mayor McNutting's re-education program, he trotted out the ageless Steve Blass to give yet another motivational speech. For those of you unfamiliar with Blass, he's basically the spokesman for careers that sailed away on the Good Ship Ty-D Bol. Translation: guys, if you keep screwing up, you can wind up with a short lived career, best known for underachievement and regret, just like me. Exactly the message that I would be sending to my troops.



To culminate the mental cruelty, the owners decorated Pirate City's hallowed halls with posters, banners, and memorabilia from the 'glory years'. (sadly, the glory years are now thought of as anything prior to the last 15 seasons of shame). All this, just days after the Bucs inked Byung-Hyun Kim, another 30's something reliever with an E.R.A. hovering around 6 and a stint of stardom well into his rear view mirror. Couple this deal with the blockbuster signing of has-been Doug Mientkiewicz , and you now see that the new strategy is surrounding our young stars with players who can still remember what it's like to win. Some people refer to this sort of thing as a self fulfilling prophesy...

The spring training complex proudly displays this picture of the Bucs' last winning team

MALONE !!!

Philly has Rocky, Pittsburgh has Ryan

A quick tribute to Tony's favorite hockey player, none other than Upper Sinclair's very own Mr. Ryan Malone. The versatile forward's rebound season, driven by his February surge, has him rapidly climbing the list of famous Pittsburgh Malones. (now just narrowly behind the unflappable Mark Malone).

Malone's most recent heroics against Florida have raised his seasonal goal total to 19, just another example of the Penguins doing more with less during Sid Crosby's injury. Tack on a nifty +11, and one must believe that home grown Malone will be challenging Ty Conklin for the Everyman Award.

Malone still tops my list for zaniest facial expressions

Get Wayne Gandy!!!

Remember Wayne Gandy's parting words as he exited the Heinz Field complex in 2002? "You're gonna miss me." (or something to that effect.) Well, maybe Mr. Gandy was no Nostradamus initially, as the team has gone 50-30 with two AFC championship appearances and a Lombardi Trophy in the five years since he's been gone. Five years later, however, the Men of Steel are piecemealing their tin curtain O-line and maybe, just maybe, the newly released Gandy is worth a phone call. Although Gandy is 37 and recovering from a season ending knee injury, one must note that he only missed one game in his previous 13 seasons, and only one start in his previous 12 seasons. Why not let this guy compete with Willie Colon to protect your franchise QB?

Gandy was right, we do miss him

Coming Soon: meet Branden Albert, the man who just might make you forget about Alan Faneca.

So the Penguins are Really like Talladega Nights

Ever notice the bevvy of meat head comments that spring up when a sports superstar goes down with injury, claiming how the team is actually better without the star? Well, since I live in the Land of Sports Meat Heads (aka Philadelphia), I hear these comments constantly. When Iverson would go down, and the team would reel off a few wins, I would hear it. Whenever Donovan goes down (on a somewhat regular basis anymore - but that's a whole different article), I would hear it. When Chase Utley broke his hand and then the Phils continued to win, I heard it. The meat headery would even spill over to the western half of the state. My Philly pals claimed (with certain truth) that Steel Town was better without Ben last year. Hell, I was even compelled to state that the Steelers were better on defense without Polamalu last year. (My chronic love/hate relationship with #43 is also an article for another day).

Last weekend I was out with some friends at Maggianos, and I heard the comment that tops all meat head comments. "The Penguins are better without Sid Crosby". Since I was overly distracted by the platter of cholesteral parmigano in front of me, I couldn't go table by table until I found the moron that made the blasphemous remark and stab him in his ear with that oversized fork that fancy Italian restaraunts use, you know, the one that slightly resembles a small pitch fork.

Last night, however, I did some internet perusing on my own and I did find some interesting nuggets.

PENGUIN PERFORMANCE WITH CROSBY (46 games)
55 Points - 1.195 points per game, prorated to 98 points over 82 games.
2.59 goals per game.

PENGUIN PERFORMANCE WITHOUT CROSBY (10 games)
14 points - 1.400 points per game, prorated to 115 points over 82 games.
3.30 goals per game.

So, by applying some rationale to this hard data, we must conclude that Meat Headimus Maximus from the restaraunt was, in fact, correct. The Pens are actually a better team without The Kid. I'll stop now before you Igloo Nazis show up at my door.

Although the logic is faulty, and really ridiculous, the power surge that has occurred during the last four weeks is remarkable. Frankly, it speaks volumes of the progression of Evgeni Malkin since his spring disappearance during the playoff ousting by Ottowa. Not only has #71 filled up the scorer's sheet, but his agressive style has really supercharged this team with confidence. The fact that a team could go 6-2-2 without it's star scorer and franchise goalie sends a very loud message. This morning the PG ran an article about Malkin's potential to take home some trophies at the end of the year. I'm not sure if a Hart or Ross is in his near future, but I would recommend Malkin for the Cal Naughton, Jr. Award for best performance while stepping up for a fallen comrade superstar. NOTE: if you never saw Talladega Nights, then disregard the previous reference.

Shake and Bake

please meet
Magic Man and El Diablo

My First Hockey Post

40th entry! To celebrate this accomplishment, I thought I'd finally post my first Penguin article. My hockey knowledge base is well below that of football and baseball, so please show me mercy with your comments. I will do my best to cover the Penguins with the same high literary standards that have I maintained in all my posts...



WITH THAT BEING SAID




maybe I should have been focusing on the Pens all along

Just when I was about to call my friend Tony and ask when Sid was expected back, I started noticing articles about The Kid's skating sessions. Although the team and local media are both downplaying an early return, I hear that the locker room chatter is that the Feb 23rd/24th weekend homestand is a stretch goal for Sid's re-entrance. The team has an iron man stretch of 7 games over 13 nights, starting tonight, and leading up to the those 2 weekend home games. Obviously, an early return would be a big boost in the arm. I will note, however, that Gwin The Eskimo is looking pretty solid with his "point per game" prediction during The Kid's hiatus. The team has managed a moderately impressive 4-2-2 (10 points) during the last 3 weeks. Of course, Ben couldn't resist the tempation of reporting the neverending story with his post about Mario skating.

Thank God that Mario can still keep us believing in miracles...

no, not that miracle...

Thank You, God (or Benevolent Creator, based upon your faith)

What a sports week this is shaping up to be. First off, the 96.953% world population majority that despises the Patriots can sleep well at night, knowing that they won't see this smug smiling face for at least a year...

Instead of comparing SB XXLII to SB III, in which a young New York gunslinger shocks the world in an epic upset, I would prefer to liken this masterpiece to that of Martha Stewart getting sent to prison. I downplay the Cinderella angle, and dwell on that twisted old man called Karma shoving his muddy boot into the face of the smug asshole. Yes, Sunday night was a wonderful event for all of us that believe in fate, or a god, or a higher order, or simply live south of New Haven, Connecticut.

For the record, my actual pick was New York 27, Team Perfection 23...although that was probably more heart than head.

Although I couldn't imagine a thicker layer of icing on this sweet cake (other than new Spygate allegations), I managed to get one. The Philadelphia Eagle community is, for some illogical reason, infuriated with the fact that the Giants won another Superbowl. After careful thought, we have concluded that Eagle fans will get infuriated when ANYONE wins a Superbowl (other than them). Good luck in 2008 all ye Iggle fans.

Next on the list of goodness was yesterday's press conference by the Battlin' Buccos. Surprisingly, the new regime did not annouce that they were signing another sub .500, 30's something, injury plagued pitcher to a minor league deal, as you might have expected. The press conference was simply to say that a deal had been struck to keep the team's best and most popular player, Freddy Sanchez, in town through 2010. (and yes, you Jason Bay lovers, Freddy is our best and most popular Bucco)

Freddy is actually jogging to the bank, not first base

Now that the team has a core of pitchers and a small nucleus of hitters all locked up...ok, I'll stop.

Last and certainly not least, all us Nittany Lion alum saw flashes of glory years this morning when we learned that Terrelle Pryor may be eyeing PSU a little closer. Word on the street is that GrandPa JoePa hitched the wagon and mosied on down to Jeanette with son Jay in tow, hell bent on smooth talking the young gun. All sarcasm aside, I imagine that a promise of no redshirting was the caveat that re-opened these negotiations. Division rivals Ohio State and Michigan are still in the mix,(Michigan is still the betting man's pick), but let's keep our blue and white fingers crossed.

Damn, does this guy look good in blue and white...

Tomlin Named Most Sexy

Although Mike Tomlin may have screwed up a few major decisions down the stretch of the 2007 season, he apparently looked great in doing so, as he was named "Sexiest NFL Coach" by Victoria's Secret. This ringing endorsement by a collection of Eastern Europe's hottest and most illiterate women is yet another milestone not attained by predecessors Bill Cowher or Chuck Noll. (note: Noll was runner up to the ever dapper Tom Landry in 1975 and 1978)


Noll embodied the strong silent type that chicks really dug in the mid 70's.
Tomlin was not the only NFL head man taking home some hardware from the Sexy Awards. Here's a few of the other winners.

SEXIEST COACH - Large Man Category: Andy Reid


Despite some recent family troubles, Reid is still large and in charge as the NFL's reigning fat man.

BEST MULLET: Jeff Fisher
BEST FACIAL HAIR: Jeff Fisher
BEST NASCAR LOOK: Jeff Fisher

Fisher continues to moisten the panties of those southern belles with his redneck looks and charm. At this point in his career, that mullet is almost ready for the lifetime achievement award.


Fisher's mullet and NASCAR shades will someday be in Canton

BEST DRESSED: Bill Belichick

Why not? How many 55 year old multi millionaires can look this good wearing a sawed off hoodie? Let's hope The Genius breaks out his nicest sweatshirt this weekend. How better to be coronated as the NFL's greatest coach, than by dressing like the bum from the bowling alley.


The Genius may be adding a dark hoodie to his wardrobe in 2008